How To Attract And Seduce Women

DATE - HOW TO ATTRACT AND SEDUCE WOMEN

As an individual raised with little opportunity to develop social skills, I had a particularly difficult time with the dating scene. I am happily married now, but during my years of dating, I felt that it would never happen. With many years using online dating services, I have learned many useful ways of establishing positive initial interaction on a DATE. In this article I will share with you ideas that will give you a little more ease with dating and coping with the anxiety on the first "date".

First, there are a few questions we must address and bring out into the open. How much should we get to know the potential date before meeting? What discussion or prefacing is required with your potential date prior to the meeting? How does this potential date feel about you, or does this person also share this anxiety? After the rendezvous is established where will you meet to ensure safety, enjoyment and relaxation on your date?

LETS DIVE INTO THE FIRST QUESTION: HOW MUCH SHOULD WE GET TO KNOW THE POTENTIAL DATE BEFORE MEETING?

This question begs the actual legitimacy of the potential date. Is this person really genuine? What is this person's background? These questions are not as easy to answer, but we can start with the following. The method of communication is incredibly important. Phone communication although a little nerve racking, can break the ice and establish an initial understanding of who this person is. Try to avoid creating a mental image of this person as this can really increase expectations and also give the other person an unfair disadvantage (i.e. relating the voice to a physical mental image). The phone conversation can also shed light on this person's general character.

This leads to what discussions or prefacing is required. It is important to acknowledge that this place we live is very diverse and the person's character is one of the most important attributes of desirability. Be softly direct when inquiring about his or her background without invoking the feeling that you are drilling the person which is a real "turn-off". I have used this idea many times which turns out to be a really enjoyable exercise. Write down a few background questions to ask prior to calling the potential date and go from there. The conversation can take on with its own energy from there and it will be very easy to get a good feeling for the person. That is to say, if the person is not forthright, it will most likely come through in the conversation.

In most cases, the other person will exhibit the same anxiety as you on a date. Keep this in mind, as it will help your nerves a little. Being confident, honest, direct and respectful will help you and the date feel an increased level of comfort whether you're on the phone, or on the first date.

ON THIS FIRST DATE, MAKE SURE THAT YOU SELECT, OR MUTUALLY AGREE TO, A PLACE THAT WILL HELP THE DATE FLOURISH BUT KEEP THE OTHER PERSON WANTING MORE.

Obviously, you should select a meeting place that is well lit and where there will be many eyes watching you for increased safety. However, the place that you will spend the most time on your date should be softly lit so that most of the concentration can be focused on the content of the conversation and less on physical characteristics. More importantly, span the first date no more than that of a small snack. You can consider this a "weed-out" session. If there is chemistry during the date, he or she will leave waiting more. Conversely, if there is no chemistry, not much time was lost and not much money was spent.

Remember, these important ideas to engender ease and confidence during the initial contact through online dating services. Choose a method of communication prior to the meeting that will help you determine the persons forthrightness. Understand that the other person is probably feeling the same level of anxiety to which you can offer some comfort. Finally, choose a place that demonstrates safety and allows for a short but memorable experience.

It is already six o'clock. You are ready for the big date. Well, almost. The little black dress that you bought at Neiman-Marcus still hangs in your closet. Feeling butterflies in the stomach, you reach for it and slip it on (for the tenth time), and zip it up. Perfect. Well, almost. All glammed up and ready to go. You've got the vanity kit in the purse, the make-up's been re-touched, and the mandatory spritz of perfume is through. You've got everything in place, well, except for the guy. "Where is my date?" you ask. A million other questions race through your mind. You can't help thinking about whether he was in a car accident or, even worse, if he changed his mind about the date. Feeling the anxiety now creeping through your body, you dial his cellphone number. He answers the phone and tells you in a half-embarrassed voice that he is now at your front porch. Then immediately, you hear the doorbell. "He's here!", you silently scream in your head as you glide down the staircase. Of course, you first had to take one last look at the mirror to check your teeth, hair, and dress before taking that one long breath of air. Finally, you open the door and give out your sweetest smile to the guy -- your date, who, at least came, even if he was 20 minutes late.

This scenario describes how one woman can feel the anxiety when it comes to going on a date. The emotional roller coaster of preparing and waiting for the date -- not to mention the actual outcome of it -- can put even the most stable of women in panic. It has been a tradition for almost everyone to have dates in order to know more about each other, spend time together, and see if your attitudes, beliefs, or interests are compatible. Of course, not all expectations or agreements about this thing or that thing are met with ease. Dating is necessary because it takes time to know a person well, and hopefully, after that, the simple getting-to-know-you would blossom into a good relationship.

But not all people are accustomed to or even ready to have a date. Dating is considered as a social event, where two people are dressed up appropriately based on where they are going, or what activity they are going to do. In these times, dating can be done in various ways, not just the candle lit dinner for two setup. Double dates, group dates, blind dates, and even the ones where you go to a certain spot, be with nineteen other women and twenty guys that you have not met, and go on rotation to speak with a man for at least five minutes. Speed dating, anyone? Crazy, right?

Still, even with all the innovations on how to meet and date people, some individuals still find it a struggle to actually be around others of their kind. The fact of being near other people can stress out or cause panic is such a serious concern that there is even a term for it -- Social Anxiety. Social anxiety often refers to fear and worry about being around other people or of establishing contact with another person for the first time.

In a society like ours, they are often seen as loners, anti-socials, or wallflowers. In a scene like that, a person dealing with social anxiety might just run, be silent for the rest of the night, or even faint! Those with this type of anxiety disorder may often experience sweaty hands, butterflies in the stomach, and nagging thoughts about not being "good enough" for the person they are about to meet.

Needless to say, any feeling of anxiety may be considered normal as long as it does not interrupt your daily routine or prevents a person from having a happy, fulfilled life. Every single person on earth wants the best, and by that, it means that all of us aspire to look good, feel good, and show how wonderful we are as human beings -- especially during a date.

In dating, a person feels the anxiety before or during a date -- which is perfectly all right. Taking time to relieve the anxiety is key before going on a date. What then should be the first step an anxious dater should take before going out?

Deep breathing can really help ease nervousness. Focusing on the other person (or your date) and not just obsessing about whether you will be liked or not is a good start, too. Most of all, just be yourself.

People who suffer from social anxiety should participate in social therapy and treatment in order to decrease their fear of meeting other people. It is essential for a person to grow and interact with others, so it is wise to address this kind of anxiety as soon as possible. Going out on a date need not be such a hassle. It should be one of the most fun things every one should try and experience.