Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Marriage Problems

Marriage Problems

Crisis in a Marriage

With this kind of high divorce percentages recorded in most establishing international locations a single commences to ponder regardless of whether the sanctity of marriage is little by little fading, reducing the matrimonial binds to a mere relaxed partnership. Nonetheless, just before generating this sort of assumptions it would only be right to get a far better understanding of what drives married partners in to divorce relationship difficulties.

Although interactions are often superb, they always occur with a number of problems. Not understanding how to confront or relatively handle the difficulties collectively as a few usually functions to materialize the problems in to marriage troubles. Trying to keep in brain that these issues typically arrive from diverse sources, it can occasionally get difficult to pin on the principal fundamental dilemma leaving numerous couples pointing accusing fingers at every other as an alternative of working with the challenge. Outlined underneath are some of the most common problems that frequently spur marriage troubles among couples


A recent review carried out by Jeffery Dew at the College point out of Utah exposed that partners who argue about funds after a week had a thirty% opportunity of acquiring divorced in comparison to couples that argues after a thirty day period a distinct indicator that income troubles are indeed a fantastic obstacle among married partners. Though fights concerning funds have been identified to have symbolic meaning this sort of as power struggles and differing values, challenging financial occasions typically leave partners annoyed and stressed producing them more prone to choosing out fights and criticizing the other companion.


Cathy O'Mahoney, a divorce law firm, points out that though the factors provided to her by her clients for divorce ended up diverse, conversation was an issue that arrived up time and time once again. She stories that several of her clients confessed getting bad conversation routines or none at all. With no proper communication, a single associate cannot categorical their emotions toward particular acts and scenarios making it all way too tough for the other partner to consider the proper step. In this kind of an surroundings, unfavorable communication is certain to produce even more aggravating the scenario. Not forgetting that conversation is the foundation of any partnership, you get to recognize why absence of interaction is a sure way of carry up marriage issues.


Even though deemed a socially satisfactory habits amongst guys, infidelity is truly the 2nd major lead to of divorce in America. Retaining in brain that a relationship is a device primarily based on trust, it is only evident that one particular companion would want to individual from the other in the circumstance that they discovered any attributes that recommend unfaithfulness.

The over talked about leads to for "CRISIS IN A MARRIAGE" are just but a couple of of the numerous described leads to. Nonetheless, it is crucial to be aware that marriage issues do not have to routinely lead to a divorce, partners can "HELP FOR MARRIAGES" save by themselves from becoming element of the surprising divorce figures by means of having essential actions to ensure that they are both on the very same website page. This could include likely for marriage counselling or far better yet, making certain they are acquiring in to the marriage for the correct factors.

Saturday, March 14, 2015

Meeting Up With New Friends Safe And Smart 4

Meeting Up With New Friends Safe And Smart 4
(above via: here.)

With social networks and blogging... it's becoming more and more popular to make friends online. Eventually, you may decide that you want to take the friendship offline and into the real world. Whether it's a person you met on Facebook or someone from an online dating site, it is crucially important that you take safety precautions. We all know that there are a lot of weirdos out there, but we like to pretend that such things will never happen to us. Be careful on the internet with the information you divulge and the people you connect with. If you decide you want to meet a person in stranger, take extreme caution:

DO let a third person know whom you will be meeting, where, and when you plan on being home.

DO meet the person in public until you know them.

DO use a pay phone/public phone the first time you call the person.

DO remember that if you call someone who has caller ID, they now know who you really are, have your full name and number, and can find out your address by using that information. If you have caller ID, have them call you.

DON'T trust anyone who wants to meet "RIGHT NOW."

DON'T give out your address until you have gotten to know the person and feel you can trust them.

DO meet in a public place, preferably one that you are known and that you are familiar with.

DO say hi to people who know you and introduce them to your new friend.



Friday, March 13, 2015

Examples Female Online Dating Profiles

Examples Female Online Dating Profiles
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Dating Advice For Men

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Everything You Hear Isnt Likely To Help You One Bit

Everything You Hear Isnt Likely To Help You One Bit
You have possibly heard tons of guidance on the way to save wedding from divorce. You know, the regular stuff -- communicate, have alone time, get support from family, look for an advisor. Well, everything you hear isnt likely to help you one bit. Wherever you look, it's sex, sex and more sex. Because if youre not kidding about desiring to save wedding from divorce, there's truly only 1 thing you have to have. Wedding Courses and Workshops As each conjugal problem is dissimilar, so are available courses.

There are courses for communication, the simplest way to handle cash issues or affairs, and courses for 2nd wedding issues. These are built to give the couple 'assignments ' to work on. Some assignments will be for the person to work on, and some will be for the couple to work on together. You can simply download any of the packages of your choosing in the comfortable surroundings of your home or office during any time of the day that you wish. The rationale is that most famous conjugal problem resolution advisors have packed all of the wedding conflict resolution secrets in an electronic format that will simply be accessed on the internet. You tin of course do this without the acceptance of your other half. If you access the right package, youll find assorted techniques you can effectively use to start to work on your wedding alone and when your partner realises what is occurring, you have to have amended plenty of problem issues ( most particularly the ones that were intentionally or unwittingly due to you ). You could need to tug in a Wedding Advisor if youre existing with someone that doesnt bring up any problems with your wedding or life. In a similar way, it is quite as vital to see a wedding advisor if you cant talk to each other about difficult subjects or feelings.

Frequently Ive been told a divorced mate exclaim, 'They just left. Solutions are more easy to work out if guilt and hurt have not been loaded into the conversation. A wedding advisor will help you show your feelings and raise issues in non threatening methods - avoiding blame games and guilt trips. If you are not doing things together on regularly or merely hanging out and speaking one to one, then somebody is going to feel neglected or unsatisfied. Solitude : Another major difficulty that comes between couples is 1 or both parties feeling ignored or forsaken in the relationship. Ensure you are taking time out of work and past-times to spend some time with and support your other half or loved one in their own life. It does not matter how many years youve been together, youll always need that bonding time together.


Wednesday, March 11, 2015

How Ive Learned To Develop Leaders

How Ive Learned To Develop Leaders
Every once in a while I'll get a question from a reader, co-worker, or student about how to break into the leadership development field. The reality is, it's not really an entry level profession, and there's no one right way to get there.

The leadership development profession includes trainers, coaches, HR generalists, managers, authors, speakers, preachers, and every combination of these. They have degrees in management, organizational development, human resource development, psychology, education, and engineering. Some have certification... some don't.

So while I don't have a good answer on how to break into the field, I can look back and share "how" I've learned (and continue to learn) about leadership development. I believe these could be repeatable learning experiences for someone just getting started.

In no particular order:

1. Study real leaders

From the day we play our first sport or join our first organized activity, we are surrounded by opportunities to study leadership and management. We learn from all of those good and bad examples. It's a numbers thing - the more of them we are exposed to, the more we learn. I started out training first level supervisors - blue collar foreman, nuclear engineers, and accountants - so in the course of just a few years, I was exposed to hundreds of new supervisors from all walks of life.

However, the "studying" needs to be intentional - it won't just happen by osmosis.

You have to be rampantly curious about what makes great leaders tick - their skills, values, experiences, career paths, styles, etc....

More importantly, you have to be an investigative reporter to find out how they got to where they are. You begin to see patterns on how the good ones develop, and the bad ones don't. Those patterns can then be replicated for others to follow or avoid.

2. Learn from the real "gurus"

Fortunately, there are already a lot of people out there that have already had all this experience and studying. When you can fit what you seeing and hearing into already discovered best practice frameworks, it all starts to come together and make sense. You develop a proven framework and toolkit.

For my money, the most credible source on leadership development is

The Center for Creative Leadership. They have the best research, models, theories, publications, and programs. No one else comes close, and those that do, tend to have roots that go back to CCL.

To be fair, there are others.... Dave Ulrich, Noel Tichy, Marshall Goldsmith, Morgan McCall, Warren Bennis, Peter Drucker, and way too many others to mention. I've accumulated over 200 books on leadership development, and am constantly looking things up and re-reading them. Good practice based on research is timeless, unlike some of the fads the charlatans peddle.

3. Learn from fellow practitioners

When you work for a big company, chances are, there will be others involved in leadership development that you can learn from. I've learned from my managers, peers, and employees. One of my favorite former managers now runs an executive development practice at Monitor. Another ran leadership development programs at GE, considered the best at leadership development.

There's also lot's of opportunities to learn from others outside of your organization. I've gone to a lot of great conferences and networking events, and am always looking for new opportunities to maintain an external perspective.

That's one of the reasons I blog... I learn as much as I share. It's a way to connect with others from around the world that are as passionate about this stuff as I am.


I lot of what I learned came from external suppliers, consultants, and coaches. I suppose this is a combination of learning from experts and other practitioners, but worth calling out separately. I'm thinking more of those that I have hired to do work or provide products for the various companies I've worked for. In my early days, I did this a lot, because quite frankly, I didn't know a whole lot about anything. Each time I did, I tried to soak up as much as I could during certifications and project work. Most were very generous about transferring their capabilities.

Some of the best I've learned from are DDI, PDI, Lominger, and a lot of small, niche consultants and coaches.

5. Stay in "school"

There are some good degree programs in this field (HRD, OD,), but that's not where I'd recommend starting. First get a few years of experience, then the degree.

In addition to at least a Masters, and perhaps a PhD, I'd recommend attending as many university-based executive development programs as possible. Michigan, USC, and Harvard all have deep expertise in leadership development, as well as CCL.

6. Trail and error.

I've been fortunate to have worked at companies that have given me a lot of freedom to innovate, take risks, and screw up now and then. I love to tinker with the system, test new ideas, and add to my toolbox. I've always considered a 1/3 adoption rate a pretty good batting average.

Earlier in my career I fell for my share of fads and wacky ideas. Now, while I still like to think I'm open to possibilities, I'll make sure anything new I try is based on research, tested, reference checked, and evaluated.

So while that's what's worked for me so far, I realize my experience is limited and there still is lot's more to learn.

For those of you in the field, what's worked from you? Where have you learned the most about leadership development, and what advice could you share for someone just getting started?

Monday, March 9, 2015

A Country Boy Takes His City Kid Out West

A Country Boy Takes His City Kid Out West
My daughter was three when it really hit me that I was raising a city kid. Two thousand miles from our Brooklyn apartment, driving through a dense cedar forest in Grand Tetons National Park on the way to a wedding in Montana, she stared out the car window, utterly baffled, and asked: "Dad where are all the buildings?"

She had no idea how to make sense of all that nature. Where were the skyscrapers hiding?

I grew up in rural North Carolina, with 12 miles of tobacco fields and peach orchards between our home and the nearest intersection busy enough for a stoplight. My memories of childhood with my father-good and bad-are all lit with Carolina twilight: After he'd get home from work, we would sneak onto the burnt grass of the local golf course and play till we couldn't see the ball; fish in a canoe on a nearby lake; fill five-gallon buckets with scupperdine grapes picked from wild vines in the woods. I couldn't say exactly how the outdoors made me. I just know it did.

Sixteen years ago, I moved to New York City and dove headfirst into the art-and-media scene in which I am still submerged. Eight years ago, I started raising a city kid. My daughter's crib faced a Caribbean jerk-chicken joint and a Chinese takeaway, right around the corner from the Brooklyn Museum and a busy fire department that spewed nightly sirens. Now she can sleep through anything, and a lot of her life is like any eight-year-old girl's anywhere: She loves Taylor Swift, hates Justin Bieber, knows "Let It Go" by heart, and gets lost in Hogwarts's halls. But she also rides a packed subway to public school in Greenwich Village, where she takes math classes with kids named Palladin, Ghomeshi and Thage. She's got more stamps on her passport than I had at 30. And when she's comfortable, she's got the unmistakable swagger of a cocky, hyperverbal city kid.

I've scrambled and commuted to the best the city has to offer, but I haven't been able to shake the guilty feeling that she's never really gone fishing.

She's also scared of flies. House flies, fruit flies, gnats, mosquitoes: They all freak her out. A fly on a bowl of pasta can mean two-hour dinnertime. Also: ants. As a city kid, she regards even the most domesticated animals-a cat, a chicken, a cow-as wild and mystical creatures: a unicorn, a centaur, a Pegasus. She clambers over big rocks in Central Park and calls them mountains. Raised under street lights, she can get scared by the true black of natural nighttime. Walking over a sidewalk grate the other morning, she told me she loved the smell of the warm, noxious subway exhaust billowing around us.

I've scrambled and commuted to the best the city has to offer-gigs, shows, museums, and after-school stop-motion animation classes-but I haven't been able to shake the guilty feeling that she's never really gone fishing. She has never really been let loose in the woods. Her idea of climbing a tree means mounting one limb and sitting there for a while-since most low limbs have been sawed off in Brooklyn's litigation-proofed parks. And, until this spring, she'd never been camping.

Hoping to counterprogram her urban childhood, my sister and I met up in Phoenix, then drove with my daughter north through the cactus-pocked desert to the red rocks of Sedona. She loved the hotel swimming pool. We jumped in a four-wheel-drive jeep and kicked up dust in the canyons, hiked through the slick slate of Slide Rock State Park, and marveled at some seriously scenic vistas. Her favorite was the one where Native American women sold bracelets.

My sister and I didn't have a specific plan. But if we did, it was probably based in a New Yorker's bigger-means-better delusion: My daughter hadn't experienced much nature. So we were going to show her the most nature we could find: The Grand Canyon.

How does an eight-year old-or anyone-make sense of that scale?

On the drive up to the Canyon, my daughter-exhausted by the mile-high altitude, jet lag and a head cold-slept from Flagstaff to the park entrance. When we arrived at the edge of the canyon, she didn't spend much time pondering the inconceivable scale of the canyon, as we adults attempted-or pretended-to do. She stared at her wobbling sneakers balanced on a little wooden boundary that marked he walking path, trying to balance. She was much more interested in scrambling in and around the cliffside scrub-brush, picking up pinecones and picking up leaves for her latest, fleeting miniature collection.

How does an eight-year old-or anyone-make sense of that scale? I tried to translate it into city-kid numbers: I told her it was 1.5 Empire State Buildings deep. So wide it you could fit the island of Manhattan Inwood-to-Wall Street, sideways, at the canyon's widest point. It didn't particularly matter. She collected pebbles-bits of dull quartz and chips of grey slate-in a beaded Native American purse we'd purchased at one of the scenic overlook gift shops. We adults oohed and ahhed, approximating awe as we adjusted camera viewfinders; my daughter focused on the natural world that could fit in her tiny hand.

A visit to another Native American gift shop thrilled her. So did an ice-cream cone. Then the three of us sat down on a wooden bench on the southern edge of the canyon for sandwiches. There, on the edge of this vast, unknowable canyon rippling with color, my daughter found her bliss.

Photo: Logan Hill

Behind the bench, she found a bent-over, slightly defeated-looking tree, with one branch, and then another not too far above it: a real-life climbing-tree, with bark and everything. She scrambled with the steely focus of Stallone in "Cliffhanger". Falling, then trying again. Then climbing. She found initials carved into the tree high up above her head and as she climbed just a little too high for her comfort, she yelled, grinning, "Dad! I'm stuck!" It was the kind of cry for help that she utters when what she really wants is for me to see the amazing thing that's she's done.

Later in the trip, we would camp out, fish, hike, shoot rocks from slingshots, scramble up a steep mountainside, leap across a shallow riverbed, build a fire and roast hot dogs. She debated proper marshmallow-roasting technique with ash smeared across her face, as one should. And she complained about the boredom of fishing, also as one should. One afternoon, as she balanced on a fallen pine tree, I heard her tell herself, under her breath, "Okay, you can do this," as she pushed down her fear and walked all the way to the end, like a miniature Philippe Petit. She freaked out about the water bugs at the river, the flies at the campsite, and the ants crawling over the picnic table. And she almost got used to them.

Exhausted, she fell asleep each night before sunset. So, one evening, around ten, I woke her up, unzipped her sleeping bag, and carried her outside, pointing up at more stars than she'd ever seen. She gawked and stared quietly.

"It's so beautiful," she said, still groggy with sleep. "It looks just like Manhattan."Celebrate Father's Day with Made Man's "Thank Your Dad" stakes! in Made Man's Hangs on LockerDome//

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Monday, March 2, 2015

10 Traits Of Continuously Successful People

10 Traits Of Continuously Successful People
We have all read about people who are successful briefly. They win a gold medal, make a fortune, or star in one great movie and then disappear....These examples do not inspire me!

My focus and fascination is with people who seem to do well in many areas of life, and do it over and over through a lifetime. In entertainment, I think of Paul Newman and Bill Cosby. In business, I think of Ben and Jerry (the ice cream moguls)...As a Naval Officer, husband, businessman, politician and now as a mediator and philanthropist on the world stage, Jimmy Carter has had a remarkable life. We all know examples of people who go from one success to another.

These are the people who inspire me! I've studied them, and I've noticed they have the following traits in common:

1 THEY WORK HARD! Yes, they play hard, too! They get up early, they rarely complain, they expect performance from others, but they expect extraordinary performance from themselves. Repeated, high-level success starts with a recognition that hard work pays off.

2 THEY ARE INCREDIBLY CURIOUS AND EAGER TO LEARN. They study, ask questions and read-constantly! An interesting point, however: While most of them did well in school, the difference is that they apply or take advantage of what they learn. Repeated success is not about memorizing facts, it's about being able to take information and create, build, or apply it in new and important ways. Successful people want to learn everything about everything!

3 THEY NETWORK. They know lots of people, and they know lots of different kinds of people. They listen to friends, neighbors, co- workers and bartenders. They don't have to be "the life of the party," in fact many are quiet, even shy, but they value people and they value relationships. Successful people have a Rolodex full of people who value their friendship and return their calls.

4 THEY WORK ON THEMSELVES AND NEVER QUIT! While the "over-night wonders" become arrogant and quickly disappear, really successful people work on their personality, their leadership skills, management skills, and every other detail of life. When a relationship or business deal goes sour, they assume they can learn from it and they expect to do better next time. Successful people don't tolerate flaws; they fix them!

5 THEY ARE EXTRAORDINARILY CREATIVE. They go around asking, "Why not?" They see new combinations, new possibilities, new opportunities and challenges where others see problems or limitations. They wake up in the middle of the night yelling, "I've got it!" They ask for advice, try things out, consult experts and amateurs, always looking for a better, faster, cheaper solution. Successful people create stuff!

6 THEY ARE SELF-RELIANT AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. Incredibly successful people don't worry about blame, and they don't waste time complaining. They make decisions and move on....Extremely successful people take the initiative and accept the responsibilities of success.

7 THEY ARE USUALLY RELAXED AND KEEP THEIR PERSPECTIVE. Even in times of stress or turmoil, highly successful people keep their balance, they know the value of timing, humor, and patience. They rarely panic or make decisions on impulse. Unusually successful people breath easily, ask the right questions, and make sound decisions, even in a crisis.

8 EXTREMELY SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE LIVE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT. They know that "Now" is the only time they can control. They have a "gift" for looking people in the eye, listening to what is being said, enjoying a meal or fine wine, music or playing with a child. They never seem rushed, and they get a lot done! They take full advantage of each day. Successful people don't waste time, they use it!

9 THEY "LOOK OVER THE HORIZON" TO SEE THE FUTURE. They observe trends, notice changes, see shifts, and hear the nuances that others miss. A basketball player wearing Nikes is trivial, the neighbor kid wearing them is interesting, your own teenager demanding them is an investment opportunity! Extremely successful people live in the present, with one eye on the future!

10 REPEATEDLY SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE RESPOND INSTANTLY! When an investment isn't working out, they sell. When they see an opportunity, they make the call. If an important relationship is cooling down, they take time to renew it. When technology or a new competitor or a change in the economic situation requires an adjustment, they are the first and quickest to respond.

These traits work together in combination, giving repeatedly successful people a huge advantage. Because they are insatiable learners, they can respond wisely to change. Because their personal relationships are strong, they have good advisors, and a reserve of goodwill when things go bad. And finally, none of these traits are genetic! They can be learned! They are free and they are skills you can use. Start now!

Author: Dr. Philip E. Humbert, author, speaker and personal success "JOIN ONEPOWERFULWORD COMMUNITY ON FACEBOOK. Meet and converse with people who are driven and motivated. Click here to join us on facebook.

PLEASE SHARE THIS POST WITH YOUR FRIENDS so more people are Motivated and Inspired to become their best version.

Friday, February 27, 2015


I love the Olympics! I watch sports that I would never watch any other time (rowing for example!), and I love the inspirational stories of the athletes that come from the Olympics! But these great games always bring up a timeless debate-- men vs. women athletes. There are plenty of women who are amazing, and outstanding athletes. Mia Hamm, Michelle Quan, Serena Williams, and Gabby Douglas are only a few of the best women athletes in history.

Last year in English class, I was part of a heated discussion about women's athletics. One group said that women were "not" as good as men, one group said women "WERE" as good as men, and one group didn't care. As a female athlete myself I was in defense of women. I explained that women were better and could take down any man if they wanted, and they should. A friend of mine (she is a FANTASTIC soccer player) brought up an excellent point that changed by perspective. She said, that her coach would often say IF WOMEN THINK THAT THEY SHOULD BE PLAYING WITH THE BOYS, ISN'T THAT SAYING THAT OTHER WOMEN ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH COMPETITION?

WOW! I had never thought about that! I had to sit and really think about those words. After looking back and reflecting on my initial thoughts, I realized something. I realized that thought that to PROVE that I was a great athlete I had to beat a guy. WHY WASN'T BEATING A GIRL GOOD ENOUGH? How many times have your heard the worst insult ever, "You play like a girl!" Just look at this clip!

It was never a good thing to "play like a girl." Girls played with dolls, and boys played baseball, so telling someone they played like a girl was the WORST insult imaginable. Did you see their REACTION when he said that? PLAYING LIKE A GIRL WAS WORSE THEN BEING CALLED A JERK, BUTT SNIFFER, SCAB EATER, PUSS LICKER, AND FART SMELLER.

When I was little I was a tomboy. I could throw a football, and a baseball. (WAIT! Right there! TomBOY! Why was I thought of and called a tomboy, not just thought of as a girl who played and enjoyed sports?) I saw gym class as a way to lead my team to victory during capture the flag. I often reminded my favorite male gym teacher to say "he OR she" when saying things like, "When he or she goes into defense..." and I couldn't stand anyone who didn't want to play as tough as I did. To prove my athleticism I played with the boys. I was a great basketball player "BECAUSE" I could keep up, and beat the boys at recess. The key word was PROVE. If I had to prove my athletic abilities with boys; that meant girls weren't good enough for me to play against. It wasn't about what I could do, it was about who I could beat. I know that it wasn't a conscious thought process or done on purpose, but to me it's a really interesting thing to think about and reflect on. The issue here is that as women, we need to hold ourselves to a high standard of athleticism, and ignore gender. TALENT IS TALENT, PRACTICE IS PRACTICE, AND WINS ARE WINS.


Love,G4G and Tinamarie


Monday, February 23, 2015

The Seven Faces Of Servant Leadership

The Seven Faces Of Servant Leadership
Author : Kenneth Rice

The 7 Faces of LeadershipMost people can manage when things go well, but true leadership is how we cope with people when times are tough. Our expectations are often unrealistic and not centered on what leadership is really about. Too often people confuse a strong-willed personality as an effective leader. Leadership is not being strong-willed, rather having a strong sense of purpose and compassion. Too many organizations substitute strong-willed people for ethical leaders and see no distinction, because the people who put them in power dont know the difference. Effective Leadership involves equipping people to live competently and confidently.Effective leadership traits are as varied and numerous, not to mention subtle, as the human mind and heart themselves. No list will ever be complete, nor will it be the best suited for each individual reader. The bible gives some insight of the essential characteristics of effective leadership in I Corinthians, Ephesians, and 2 Timothy such as humility, integrity, focus, courage, discipline, compassion, and encouragement. The following paragraphs will place those characteristics into an organizational context.The Humble Leader"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." (Ephesians 4:2)Humility is not just about our relationship with God but its also about our relationship with other people. Relationships are built on listening, to Gods Word and to each other. The relationship between a leader and follower is only as good as their ability to listen. The effective leader will not be a force of just personality and power plays but relationship oriented, centered on building and mentoring.From and organizational context humble leaders invite feedback and turn lessons into failures. "The leader that is poor in spirit recognizes that many people know more than he or she does and, as such, shows respect to everyone." (Winston 2002) Humility is acceptance of our human limitations coupled with the resolve to do something about it -- I cant do it alone so I will enlist the help of others. This is the essence of leadership.The Honest Leader"Each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body." (Ephesians 4:25)Honesty is achieved through Discretion and truthfulness. Discretion keeps our minds and focus on sound judgment, giving serious attention and thought to what is going on. It will carefully choose our words, attitudes, and actions to be right for any given situation, thus avoiding words and actions that could result in adverse consequences. Truthfulness means being straight with others and doing what is right."Its after we have contemplated our own actions, measuring how they align with our values, intentions, and words, that we are most likely to make a contribution of integrity to the world." (Sherman, 2003) Discretion and truthfulness allow leaders to earn trust by being accurate with facts and situations. This doesnt simply mean honesty, or acting in accordance with a consistent set of values. This also means integrity in the sense of soundness, completeness, and unity. Aligning our personality with our values and not compromising ourselves is the spirit of leadership.The Focused LeaderLeaders must be willing to carefully explore their values and how they can move their organization in the direction of a vision that is unwavering. Effective Leaders lead with a purpose rather than "run like a man running aimlessly" (1 Corinthians 9:26-27). From the biblical sense this means that we live for His purpose, not ours. As Christians, we recognize that our need for Christ will bring us beyond our failures so we can grow increasingly effective for our Lord. As we grow in Christ, we will become aware of our futility and inadequacy as human beings.From an organizational perspective, "leaders need to continually put the vision and mission (related to the purpose) in front of followers." (Winston, 2002) Followers must understand the organizations vision and know their role in support of the mission. They must know their purpose and how it contributes to organizational success, this is the soul of leadership.The Courageous & Disciplined Leader"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline" (2 Timothy 1:7)The goal of the servant leader must be to do Gods will. Otherwise we will be too afraid to go beyond our comfort zones to do anything of significance. When we are dependent on the Holy Spirit; then our self-confidence becomes rooted and dependent in Christ working through us. So we are not self-driven but Christ driven; resulting in our will to be in total surrender to Gods will as the driving force for our existence. When were aware that we are not responsible for the results of our leadership, but only the obedience to His call, only then can we persevere to press on to serve Him without the fear of failure.Malphurs (2003) refers to courage as "the strength to lead in these difficult circumstances, meaning that courageous leaders are strong and unlikely to quit." This kind of courage displays itself in an organization when a leader is willing to admit his mistake, when she is willing to stand up for her beliefs, or when he must challenge others.Courageous leaders routinely get extraordinary results from their followers because they arent afraid to do whats right. This is evident in Pauls letter regarding discipline in 1 Corinthians 8:13, "if what I eat causes my brother to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause him to fall." Conveying who you are, your goals and what you stand for can have a significant impact on follower performance and attitudes. Controlled discipline, according to Winston (2002), "draws people closer to you, whereas uncontrolled discipline drives them away." Leaders and followers are two sides of a single coin and the actions of one impact the other. Courage and discipline are the armor of leadership.The Compassionate LeaderThe compassionate leader is rooted and grounded in the spiritual disciplines of faith. "Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devils schemes". (Ephesians 6:11). With the power of the Holy Spirit and the conviction of faith in Christ, when we are modeling His image with love, we become a strong building with the foundation of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit who gives the realization to be our best for Gods glory."Loyalty and devotion to task and grow out of trust and the knowledge of protection that comes from the employment relationship." (Winston, 2002) Compassionate leadership is acting in the interest of your followers, your peers, and your organization. This is the boss for whom the employees are willing to work their hardest. The employees can feel her support for them and are compelled to give their full support in return. This manager brings out the best in her subordinates by her own example. There is often a line of people waiting to join this department. This is the heart of leadership.The Encouraging Leader"Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit--just as you were called to one hope when you were called". (Ephesians 4:3-4)The effective leader will not be a force of just personality and power plays. Servant Leaders cannot be power seeking controllers of others lives, when it is the Lord who is in control. Effective leaders must be relationship oriented, centered on building and mentoring others.In an organizational framework, an encouraging leader is a motivator. "Leadership is being able to both motivate and administrate." (Miller, 1995) A leaders ability to motivate revolves around his or her ability to leverage power and influence within the organization, among peers, and over followers. Influence involves moving people to change their thinking and ultimately their behavior. Power is the ability to exert control over another person, thing, or event. "Power and influence are intertwined in the leadership process. Most often leaders use both depending on the situation and the people involved." (Malphurs, 2003) Leaders will sometimes use power to influence followers. Power itself is amoral. However, the use power (abuse or neglect) determines how leaders influence others. The proper use of that power is encouragement, which is the igniter of leadership.The Call to Servant LeadershipIn Matthew 5 Jesus makes us aware of what God expects from not just Christian leaders, but from all Christians. Effective leaders are expected to lead by example. If our actions cause our followers to fail because they followed our example as in 1 Corinthians 8:13 then we should avoid such things because "those who indulge will become more and more ungodly". (2 Timothy 2:15) Everything that we do as leaders is under scrutiny by our followers. In the Beatitudes, Jesus gives very specific characteristics: humility, compassion, gentleness, righteousness, mercy, honesty, and perseverance.In organizations, just as in the Christian community, there are times when leaders fall away from these characteristics through personal loss or personal sin. Building and developing these characteristics is not something we just learn from a book or hear from a sermon. It does not sneak up on us in the middle of the night. It does not come automatically, accidentally, or suddenly. It is a process that comes from living in it. It is a slow process. Many fail to realize they have it until others point it out. Effective leadership is not permanent once it is formed. It requires our continual appreciation and practice.ReferencesFields, Bea (2005). The Ten Pillars of Leadership and Business Development. Retrieved electronically. Bible (1985). King James Version Study Bible. Zondervan, Grand Rapids MichiganMalphurs, Aubrey (2003) Being Leaders: The Nature of Authentic Christian Leadership. Baker Books. Grand Rapids, Michigan.Miller, Calvin (1995). The Empowered Leader: 10 Keys to Servant Leadership. Broadman & Holman Publishers. Nashville, Tennessee.Sherman, Stratford (2003). Rethinking Integrity. Leader to Leader, No. 28Winston, Bruce (2002). Be a Leader for Gods Sake. Regent University, School of Leadership Studies. Virginia Beach, Virginia.ABOUT THE AUTHORLieutenant Kenneth Rice is an Active Duty Naval Officer stationed in Norfolk VA. Lieutenant Rice is a graduate of Old Dominion University in Norfolk, Virginia where he received a Masters of Science in Educational Leadership and an Education & Training Management Subspecialty. He is currently enrolled in the Naval War College completing the Joint Professional Military Education Phase I and at Regent University working towards a Doctorate in Strategic Leadership.

Keyword : Servan Leadership and Managment

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Monkey Business

Monkey Business
ONCE a monkey has gotten hold of food in its hand, it is close to impossible to get the primate to let it go. And this makes trapping it easy for monkey catchers.

In Malaysia, a villager developed the ingenious "Monkey Trap" by burying a coconut and drilling a narrow hole big enough for a monkey's hand to go through. He would place pieces of fruit, nuts or meat on skewers in the coconut. The odour and smell of the treats attracts monkeys to reach into the narrow opening and grab hold of the treats. As the monkey attempts to extract the treats, it finds that its fistful of food will not fit through the narrow opening.

The monkey will scream in frustration as he continues to hold on to his food and attempts to remove his hand from the coconut. The villager comes over and drops a net over the monkey. Even though the monkey sees the villager approaching, so intent is it on keeping the food that it grips the morsels even tighter and tries even harder to dislodge its fist.

Nothing is keeping that monkey captive except the force of its own attachment. All it has to do to escape is let go of the food. But so strong is the force of greed that it is a rare monkey which can let go.

Aren't many business leaders just like monkeys? We may laugh at the monkey for its stupidity but every day we see similar foolishness displayed by many business leaders who struggle with letting go. Like monkeys, many leaders fail when they hold on too tightly to something that leads them astray.

We simply can't let go of products, services and practices that worked in the past which contribute little today but require significant amounts of our time and attention. Or we struggle to let go of our ego and pride. And some business leaders simply can't let go of their business and stay on in their roles way past their expiry date.

But the phenomenon is not limited to business leaders. Many people are traumatically bonded and cling on to bad relationships even though they know better. Or we can't let go of a bad habit. Worse still, many hold on to old beliefs and dogma like "if it's not broken, why fix it" and end up missing the boat when changes need to be made. Why is this?

In the case of the monkey, greed is the key reason. Greed and avarice are why executives fail to let go. And greed leads to fear.

Chinese philosopher Zhuangzi wrote: "He who considers wealth a good thing can never bear to give up his income; he who considers eminence a good thing can never bear to give up his fame. He who has a taste for power can never bear to hand over authority to others. Holding tight to these things, such men shiver with fear; should they let them go, they would pine in sorrow."

While greed for food holds the monkey back, what holds us back? Is it our ego, power, pride or greed?

Successful business leaders struggle with letting go of their products and services that worked previously because they fear the unknown. The fear of losing the past outweighs the gain of the future. Thich Nhat Hanh, a famous Buddhist teacher, said: "People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar."

They believe if they keep going the same way, even though it may be painful now, somehow life will return to the excesses of before in the future. Albert Einstein rebuts this belief: "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

Each of us naturally wants to maintain status quo, sticking to the safe and comfortable. According to Edward Miller, dean of John Hopkins medical school, people won't change even if their lives depended on it.

He studied people two years after their coronary artery bypass grafting and found 90% of them had not changed their lifestyle even though they knew they could die. They just could not change their lifestyle for whatever reason.

CEOs are supposedly the prime change agents for their companies but they are often most resistant to change.

When Louis Gerstner took over as CEO of IBM, he started by sticking to the McKinsey routine that had worked for him throughout his career - analysis paralysis and strategy. He thought he could revive the company through drills such as selling assets and cost cutting which were his comfort zones. But he was wrong and to his credit, he changed his consultant approach to a more cultural transformative one, thereby enabling IBM's revival.

But most leaders resist change and are crippled by excuses to retain status quo. If you walk into any business and hear the following excuses, you are in a business where there are a lot of monkeys who just can't let go:

. We've never done it before and it's not possible.

. We/another company/person tried it before and it won't work here. Our company is different.

. We've been doing it this way for the past 50 years.

. Why change - it's working OK. Everything is fine here.

. Management will hate it. This company is not ready for it.

. It needs further investigation and more thought.

. Our competitors are not doing it. Why should we?

. We don't have the money/resources/assets to do this.

. The union will scream. It's too much trouble to change.

. Customers won't buy it. It's too radical a change

*Ego* - Ego is responsible for the majority of business failures. Disney, Wang Laboratories and even General Motors' slide from glory was due to leadership ego. Even celebrity CEOs are not immune to ego issues. Steve Jobs was kicked out of the company he founded because of ego issues.

A personal example while I worked at GE is of the legendary Jack Welch, whose refusal to part with Montgomery Ward, a trouble departmental store that came to GE looking for an infusion of US100mil to reverse the retailer's fortunes. It wasn't enough and the next year it came back and asked for more.

GE, faced with losing its original investment, gave the firm the additional money and then proceeded to give more the next year and the following years. To protect an initial US100mil investment, GE eventually wasted billions. Just like the monkey who couldn't let go, the world's greatest CEO couldn't let go of a black hole and later admitted it was ego that stood in the way.

Nelson Mandela quit as president of South Africa after his first term a legend. Some leaders can't let go of their businesses and stay in the job way past their expiry date, causing the business or country to be ruined in the process.

*Outdated beliefs* - It is hard to identify even one single big business success that was achieved by following conventional wisdom. Yet many still rely on it daily.

A secretary working part-time while studying at a university in the US refused to learn the computer and only used the typewriter. She was typing 300 words a minute and believed if she kept improving her speed, her job was safe. Whilst everything around her told her to embrace the computer, her inner belief said otherwise. A year later, they fired her and replaced her with someone who typed 80 words a minute but could use the computer.

The newspaper industry globally is in decline and many blame the advent of the Internet to this decline. But researchers Michael Moore and Sean Paul Kelley believe that it is greed and the reliance on outdated wisdom that has seen the print media's decline.

Each of us have beliefs and conventional thinking stifling our progress.

Take time and re-examine your beliefs and remove and replace the ones that don't work. Businesses need to do this often too.

In life, there are many things that we have to learn to let go. We have to let go of situations, things, memories, attachment to people and even ourselves. It can be very painful when it's time to let go.

Letting go is similar to crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. Letting go can be one of the scariest experiences in your life but only by boldly taking a leap of faith into the unknown can you truly be the leader you were meant to be.

So, this weekend, why not reflect and learn to "let go" of something that is holding you back from greatness. Remember, every exit is an entry to somewhere else.

Think of it this way: you're on a hiking trip and along the way you keep picking up heavy objects, things that don't really help you get up the hill. After a while, these objects begin to slow you down and unless you get rid of them, you'll never complete your trip. So, let them go.

Friday, February 20, 2015

Attract Hot Guys Ways To Attract The Right Guy

Attract Hot Guys Ways To Attract The Right Guy
Finding yourself back in the world of singles can be quite daunting, especially if you have come out of a long term relationship. But once you have let the dust settle and find you are looking for a new man it is time to get back out to bars and clubs with your mate and attract hot guys and find yourself a new Mr. Right.

It can be scary but it is also a lot of fun. Finding the flirt in you can be very refreshing and give you a whole new lease of life. Have some fun and follow these fantastic little tips on ways to attract the right guy. They are simple, fun and will get you the results you are after.

* Choose your friends carefully. Large groups of loud women can be very threatening and off putting when you are trying to attract hot guys. Take out a close couple of friends who are outgoing and can keep themselves amused when you get chatting to men.

* Show a bit of flesh. Men love to see some soft bare skin, but there is no need to throw on a tiny mini skirt and ultra-low cut top. Keep some style and class and remember it is either one or the other. You may be surprised to hear men love to see naked shoulders, so wear an off the shoulder top rather than exposing your cleavage for all to see.

* Get the look. You can attract hot guys from right across the room simply by using your smile and your eyes. Smiling works better than the pouty sultry look. A smile is recognized as friendly and is appealing. Keep eye contact with anyone who you are attracted to. A little raise of the eyebrows can encourage a man to approach you as it is a sign of recognition.

* Positive conversation works best. Once you have managed to attract a guy it now comes down to conversation. Keep the smile theory, and remember to be friendly. This is not the time to bitch and moan about your life. Ask easy to answer questions on favorite bands, drinks, places that kind of thing. Remember you are both on a night out; it is time for fun and to relax.

Remember to have fun while you attract hot guys, you might not be on the single scene for long, so make the most of it !


Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Harlequin Featured In Next Week Episode Of The Bachelor

Harlequin Featured In Next Week Episode Of The Bachelor
Harlequin, one of the world's leading publishers of books for women, will play a central role in an upcoming episode of "The Bachelor," ABC's tremendously popular romance reality series. The episode will feature a special "group date" where the women pose for a Harlequin cover with the newest Bachelor, Sean Lowe. The contestant that shows the most spontaneity, flair and chemistry with Sean will be awarded a three-book cover-model opportunity with Harlequin. The episode is scheduled to air Monday, January 14, 2013, on ABC.

Sean and the competitors will experience what is required to be a successful Harlequin cover model. Harlequin Creative Director Margie Miller will shepherd the group through hair, makeup and wardrobe stages and then have them pose for multiple cover scenarios in a Los Angeles mansion. Each contestant will have an opportunity to impress Ms. Miller and Harlequin Brand Representative, Michelle Renaud, with their ability to pose in a polished and unaffected manner and convey a genuine connection with Sean.

This season on "The Bachelor," Sean, 29, the successful Dallas businessman and entrepreneur who charmed fans while wooing Bachelorette Emily Maynard, meets 26 potential soul mates and gets another shot at love as the Bachelor. Sean was blindsided in the Caribbean island of Curacao when Emily rejected him, and viewers saw the devastated Sean wrestling to make sense of her decision. Thankfully, Sean did not give up on his dream of love and he now knows with certainty that the time is right for him to risk it all again to try to find the right woman.

"What makes "The Bachelor" so compelling--searching for true love and ending up with your soul mate--is what our novels are all about. This is a real Harlequin story come to life," said Ms. Renaud. "And "The Bachelor" and Harlequin are a great fit, because people know both always have a happy ending."

The 17th season of "The Bachelor," from Warner Horizon Television, airs Mondays 8:00 p.m./7:00 p.m. central on ABC. For more information on "The Bachelor," visit


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Sunday, February 8, 2015

Online Dating Personals Service Websites

Online Dating Personals Service Websites
In recent times single online dating services are most ordinary. Singles from all over the world is flocking into online dating services in search of their partner. People have different requirements and criteria. All want a partner who can be completely live in harmony and happy with each other.

There are single men seeking for single women, gays seeking for another gay, lesbians seeking their partner, elderly men seeking love in internet, divorcees to find a online dating partner and build up their life again, and single parents who search for another single parent to understand and support each other-the list goes on.

The best part of the online dating service is they have solution for all of them! Nobody needs to be disappointed in finding that special one. There are endless choices in front of them. Only thing they need to do is use it properly.

If your search is for another single parent to date online, you can register with the respective dating websites to chat and date. Being a single parent is tough and searching for someone comes as natural for them.

For them a single online dating service is the best to find the right dating personals. When you consider for a date, you definitely think about a person who loves you and your children.

Now it become really easy for single parents to find a person either a single parent themselves or any other singles. For growing up children it is most important to have a partner. You can solve that problem now easily with an online dating web site.Finding a dating personals and having date with them.

When you first decide about searching a partner, probably you need to talk to your children. You are not sure how there reaction would be. They may or may not understand your wishes. However, we should understand that they are too young and do not know the toughness of the world. Proper discussions and patient approach can help you in making them understanding the situation. They gradually will cope with your interests.

When you sign up with an online dating service websites, do not forget the importance of honesty and opens. They are the best ways to reach your goals. You should let the other person know all about your life, especially when you have failed a relationship. You have to discuss a lot of things with your prospective partner including your children.

Also it is important to find the right web site. You can find a huge number of such online dating services. Finding the right one can be a little difficult without a thorough investigation on the websites.

If you are completely ignorant about the dating websites you can take advice from people who know about such websites. Even you can take help from reviews about the websites. After spending a considerable amount of time on such sites you will come to know which is popular and reliable.


Saturday, January 31, 2015

20 Really Cute Valentines Day Gift Ideas For Your Special One

20 Really Cute Valentines Day Gift Ideas For Your Special One
On Valentine's Day, it can feel like there is a lot of pressure to come up with just the right gift.

However, you don't need to spend a lot to make your love known. Homemade personal gifts are often the ones that communicate our love the best.

You can't go wrong by making the effort to show and recognize your love on Valentine's Day, but you could go wrong by just ignoring the day entirely. Aren't your loved one worth it?

Check out these 20 Valentine's gift ideas to ease your stress over the holiday and make those you love feel amazing!


Decorate a five drawer set for the holiday and put something to tease each of the five senses in each drawer. Ideas would be perfume, candy, massage oil, lingerie, etc. This gift can also be made for the woman in your life. Use your imagination and watch your Valentine be surprised!


Who says you can't get a man flowers? Any beer lover would love this adorable valentine!


All you need is a white board marker to tell your loved one how special they are everyday just by changing the message. Easy to make with simple craft store items!


This one appears to be possible to DIY, but it also has an online order option. The online option is not cheap, but would be a forever keepsake for your most beloved book worm, or give the folding a try yourself.


This Valentine is personal, special and affordable. Surprise your Valentine with a puzzle made from your favorite picture of the two of you.


This gift is simple, easy to make and yummy!


This would be an adorable surprise for your sweetheart. And it looks very impressive!


This says it's for a husband, but it could be for wife, girlfriend or boyfriend. Send your loved one on a fun treasure hunt ending just where you want them to!


For this cute gift, you could bake your own cupcakes or buy a variety of bakery cupcakes to put in your arrangement.


Any woman would love to get this gift. Bath bombs can be pricey to buy, but you can make them yourself. Pair it with other bath spa items and have a night of romance.


This is a couples journal for you both to complete by filling it in. This gift will help communication and connection building!


Doing chocolate dipped strawberries would be a wonderful valentine treat for a man or woman. If they are a football fan, consider this added white decoration.


Your valentine will always be holding you in their hands with this gift.


Make a message to your loved one a permanent reminder they can see everytime they open their wallet.


Why not celebrate your love with a special date night once a month? Use a basket and twelve envelopes to hold each date description. Prepaid and pre-planned! What a great idea!


Take a normal Jenga game and put clever questions or loving actions on each piece. If they pull a piece, the action is to be followed.


How about skipping the heavy dinner out and do dessert in? This is sure to be a sweet hit.


Simple and thoughtful. Everyone loves to be surprised with breakfast in bed. Try this simple twist on cinnamon rolls.


Just by gathering your kids, some paints and a canvas you can create a one of a kind piece of artwork for your valentine.


Put together a box with fun small gifts and messages of love for your valentine to dive into on a bad day. This is great for a long distance partner too!I hope you found something to spark the inspiration to recognize your special valentine!

Featured photo credit: Valentines Day background with hearts and flower via

The post 20 Really Cute Valentine's Day Gift Ideas For Your Special One appeared first on Lifehack.

Monday, January 26, 2015

She Cursed Me With Her Menses Man Tells Court

She Cursed Me With Her Menses Man Tells Court
A 64-year-old former banker, Chief Femi Eboda, has pleaded with the Agege Customary Court to dissolve his marriage to Mrs. Olufunke Eboda over negligence and lack of respect.

The couple has been living together for 21 years and blessed with two children.

Eboda told the court that there was no more love in his marriage; no care and his wife was always provoking him.

He alleged that the wife stole and embarrassed him publicly as they were always fighting.

But the wife dismissed all her husband's claims in court and said she was not ready to dissolve her marriage.

She said she was too scared to let her husband's family members know all that was going on in her marriage, because if she did, her husband would beat her.

She added that her husband has been diabetic for 14years, and she has been the one taking care of him.

She said despite her young age, she still loved him without having sex with a healthier and younger man, but with all that, her husband was still cheating on her.

"To prove to my husband that I wasn't sleeping with any other man, I removed my menses and used it to swear before him that I wasn't cheating on him so that he could stop cheating on me.

"I did that after I heard him talk to one Bukky on the telephone. The girl was asking him if he had sent me out of his house.

"He beats me every time. I'm his fifth wife and before I got married to him, his younger brother warned me that he was too wicked, that I should be patient with him.

"There was one time we went for a ceremony at Abeokuta, and I heard that my husband was in a hotel with another woman while I and his children slept together in one small room," she said.

She said she hadn't done anything to warrant any divorce, adding that all she did was to care for him.

Eboda, who lives in New Oko-Oba area of Lagos, however, disputed everything his wife said, maintaining that he was fed up with the marriage.

He said that he had been to a court before in 2006 to divorce his wife, but he was begged to be patient, and he had tolerated her till this time.

He said when he first met his wife, he didn't plan to marry her but she got pregnant for him and he couldn't tell her to abort the pregnancy, so he married her.

He said he had already done this before he was told that she had been married to a man before and that he took another man's wife.

He said, "It was after I met my wife that I started having all these terrible illnesses. I have hypertension, ulcer, stroke and diabetics.

"I went to her house and sat on her bed, unknown to me then that it was her other husband that got her the house and a shop. I sat on her bed and I started urinating on my body.

"I dealt with that for four years, it was when I went to my village in Ijebu that they told me that I had gotten the disease from my wife.

"I had a stroke after I intervened in her family matter over the property of their late father. I and three of her brothers suffered a stroke; one of them is dead now. It was then I knew that they were fetish in her house.

"While I was trying to satisfy her and give her all she wanted, I bought shops in her name to do her fashion designing job. I also bought her a big house with a receipt bearing her name, but still, what did I get?

"Her elder sister's husband duped me over a piece of land worth millions of naira and when I asked for my money, her sister gave me a dirty slap and my wife didn't say anything.

"Her family succeeded in chasing my entire family out of my house and my life, to the extent that none of my other children graduated from the university.

"It was even my wife's younger sister that helped me to write my Will, in which I willed everything I own to my wife and I signed it without knowing what I was doing. Today, I don't know where the Will is because they have been hiding it from me."

He admitted that he was speaking to Bukky and stated that it was because his wife didn't take enough care of him.

He said that he sent Bukky to school and she has got her Higher National Diploma, because he knew his wife could leave him anytime.

"The day she heard me talking to Bukky on the telephone, she removed her menses, threw it on the floor and cursed me. And in my place, such a thing is a taboo. It could put my life and that of my children in trouble," he said.

The court president, Mr. Emmanuel Sokunle, advised them to maintain the peace and adjourned the case till August 13, 2013.

Source - Punch News

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Police False Rape Claim Prompted By Revenge

Police False Rape Claim Prompted By Revenge
A West Haven woman was allegedly upset about an ex-boyfriend seeing another woman, so she falsely accused him of rape and kidnapping, according to police.

On June 4, police got a report of an abduction and sexual assault, according to police spokesman Capt. Ronald Smith. When officers arrived at the Hubbard Place apartment, Jessica Barrett, 20, of 52 Main Street, West Haven, told them that she had been kidnapped and raped by her ex-boyfriend, he said.

"Barrett, advised officers that on June 3, as she was walking near the Truman Street School in New Haven, her ex-boyfriend exited his vehicle, punched her in the head and then forced her into the vehicle," Smith said. "Barrett further advised officers that her ex-boyfriend drove her to the Hubbard Place address, where he raped her several times.

"She further claimed that her ex-boyfriend kept her in a closet for a period of time," Smith said. "In addition, she was not fed for nearly 24 hours. Barrett was subsequently transported to the Hospital of Saint Raphael."

The next day, Detectives Donald Remillard and Sean Dolan met with Barrett, when she told them she "fabricated the entire story because her ex-boyfriend had been dating another girl," Smith said.

After an investigation, Remillard submitted an arrest warrant application to the court, Smith said, and on Tuesday Barrett had turned herself in at Hamden Police Headquarters. She was charged with falsely reporting an incident and second-degree false statement.

She was released on a written promise to appear in Meriden Superior Court on Aug. 6.

Dating Tips For Women You Dont Have To Settle For Second Best

Dating Tips For Women You Dont Have To Settle For Second Best
One of the issues that has come up as I have gotten a little bit older, is seeing a lot of my friends settle for whatever guy they can get instead of really setting their sights a little bit higher. There are plenty of good men out there, so this idea that you have to settle for whoever happens to be around at a certain age isn't one that you have to accept if you don't want to. Besides, I have had the experience of seeing women that I knew get married at 22 and then divorced just a couple of years later. If you don't want to have that kind of an experience, then you shouldn't allow yourself to settle just because you reach a certain age and feel the pressure of having to be in a relationship with a guy.

Here are some tips that can help make it so that you don't have to settle for just any guy who comes along:

1. The more places that you go out to meet men, the more likely it is that you are going to meet one who seems to be a perfect match for you.

One thing that really leads to settling is when you don't really go out looking for good guys to date. Then, when you do meet one, you feel like you have to give him a chance because you don't know when the next one will come along. Really, if you go out and try to meet enough men, you'll know that there are plenty out there and you won't be so inclined to end up with the next one that comes along. You'll be more likely to wait for the RIGHT one.

2. When you know what you are really looking for in a guy, you'll also be less likely to settle.

Knowing what you really, really want in a guy is important. A lot of women don't really know what they are actually looking for. You have to give yourself a good idea of what kind of man you really want to be able to attract. When you do know what you are looking for, you are a lot more likely to actually find it.

Just because you might feel like it is hard right now to meet the right guy, it doesn't have to stay that way. You can end up attracting the right one, so you shouldn't feel like you have to settle for someone who really might not be right for you.


Tuesday, January 20, 2015

How To Become A Leader Do You Have What It Takes

How To Become A Leader Do You Have What It Takes
There are some people who are so good at being leaders that some may say they were born that way but the reality of it is that they are leaders due to the experiences that they went through. Leaders possess qualities that are considered extraordinary by others and those qualities are what give a leader the strength to make the decisions that he or she must make. It is not easy being a little if you don't know what you are doing. There are 3 qualities that you must possess as a leader and so you must get familiar with what I am about to tell you.


The first quality a leader must have is confidence because there will be times where decisions must be made and even if they are tough a leader must always try to remain in control and show those who he is leading that everything is fine. How can you expect to lead thousands of people if you have no confidence in yourself as a leader? You must begin to believe in yourself and others will start believing in you.


A leader must always be sure of his decisions and not be afraid to make them. There is a huge difference between analyzing the situation and be afraid to take action. The only way for you to learn and to become a more efficient decision maker is to actually begin to make important decisions. So take the first step and start making decisions today.


As simple as that sounds you must surround yourself with those who represent what you want to become. By having great leaders around you it is attracting that to yourself. By watching those great leaders and interacting with them you will eventually begin to pick up habits from them. Learn from all the leaders that you can and become better. There is so much to learn and so many people who can teach it. So when you get an opportunity to surround yourself with leaders take it.

These qualities are what leaders are all about and so you must make sure to develop these qualities.


A Rather Diverse Smoothing Cleanser

A Rather Diverse Smoothing Cleanser
"GUYS, YOU Really Prerequisite Supply THIS Cleanser A TRY... "Ok, so this is now my second female sort that I take reviewed this month, and just the third in total in the opposite direction this cumulative blog. I don't often review female casing care products unless they take the nation-state to state to men as well, so like "ANNA KURCZEWSKA", key symbolic for "TROPIC SLICE WORRY", melt obtainable me the "TROPIC SMOOTHING CLEANSER" to try out, I just couldn't fasten. "HERE'S A Small Commands Approximately TROPIC SMOOTHING CLEANSER: "This splendidly insight spa facial kit sympathetically cleans & buffs to display soft, hydrated & radiantly glassy casing. Our rich & creamy Smoothing Cleanser is enriched with safe plow actives that at once melts to a different place all lipstick & impurities - level waterproof mascara! Contains energizing extracts of Emerald Tea & Eucalyptus to explain & brighten pallor, the same as Golden-haired Jojoba, Vitamin E & Avocado supply & hydrate to remove from your casing soft. Moreover contains our 100% Sour Strike fibre statement material, which is naturally insipid & mega soft to sympathetically buff to a different place moved out casing cells and glassy your casing. Out of the ordinary up front cotton muslin statement cloths, our statement cloths are made from 100% inexperienced, kindly sustainable cane shoots which grows an cruel of 100cm a day! They never trail ">From looking at the additives and the snake of the modus operandi, my chief impersonation were good. The packaging is besides very boon, which I very furthest like about the product. You can tell a lot about a product by its packaging and sample. If something looks and feels good, it usually means the effectual modus operandi will be too. Stability TODAY!"TO THE Wear and tear..."DIRECTIONS:1. Disburse 2-4 pumps onto your hands and rub your hands together to punish the salve.2. Using your hands, sympathetically daub salve onto dry casing to at once end all eye make-up, plus complete makeup.3. Colorant off the salve with punish tube.4. Reapply the purification tablet onto wet statement and neck to catch a bound to be assiduous refresh.5. Run the 100% inexperienced cane fibre material under punish tube, score and place over your statement for a few seconds to pastry-cook and open pores, later sympathetically exfoliate your casing in cycle and upward motions, focusing on the T-Zone and jawline.6. Splash your statement with stabbing tube to close pores and move with Tropic Vitamin Growth Balancing Pick-me-up.The snake of this purification tablet is very glassy with a mystic supply to it and zesty cologne. The cologne is something I can only article as minty with a hint of coconut - a bit like a superimpose creamy - kindly energizing in all honesty. I was feeling really loose this morning, but overdue applying the smoothing purification tablet, it entirely did means me up in the top figure energizing way manageable. If you're an avid reader of this blog, later you'll converge that I do really like minty/zesty scents from my casing care products, but I can't stand violent smells. "TROPIC SMOOTHING CLEANSER" wasn't violent in the least bit - I'd say it's just about right. The 100% inexperienced cane fibre material is a fine amount to this product, as it gives you the full pampering experience. The material approbation the serum and makes your casing feel mega bracing and hydrated. I'm brim to take good casing splendidly (FROM EXISTENCE OF CONSISTENT MOISTURISING) and it's products like these that can help somebody, regardless of their casing type, absolute better, well again and smoother looking casing. The fact that Tropic Smoothing Cleanser is "100% NATURALLY FORMULATED" is a great copy, as I would unfailingly tell using natural casing care products better doesn't matter what also.The modus operandi itself applies magnificently onto the casing, at once and with ease. It besides rubs off with ease and effectively with the soft material. You won't feel any spell and breach like using this product - it plainly cares for your casing. I do take healthy stubble on my statement today, but this made no difference to the effectiveness of the application. This smoothing purification tablet could candidly be used by men, as it is designed for casing - not gender. "WOULD I Stability THIS SMOOTHING CLEANSER? "Yes, I reasonably would. I do love my statement scrubs and statement dust products, so Tropic Smoothing Cleanser wouldn't believe a superiority notification in my grooming cubbyhole, but I would entirely use it on the odd occasion as a indulgence. It is entirely something that would make a absentminded gift for your girlfriend or your close relative. For example I come obliquely products like this, I converge it's the type of product that women would buy, but ingenuously gets used by husbands dressed in their experiment grooming routine. INGREDIENTS:"Purified Dampen (AQUA), Golden-haired Jojoba Oil (SIMMONDSIA CHINENSIS SEED OIL), Sweet Almond Oil (PRUNUS AMYGDALUS DULCIS OIL), Avocado Oil (PERSEA GRATISSIMA OIL), Cocoa Division (THEOBROMA COCOA SEED) Coconut ">You can engage Tropic Smoothing Cleanser from WWW.PAMPERPOINT.CO.UK Moreover, don't forget to restraint out "CATER TO TWIST BLOG" for capability, ability, motivation and charm.