Friday, May 30, 2014

Crude Chat Up Lines For Men

Crude Chat Up Lines For Men



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* I can't say for precise if it will make a girl fall in love with you;
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External Insinuation

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Creating A Peak Performance Mindset

Creating A Peak Performance Mindset
Being able to stay at a high level of performance on a continuing basis is difficult for the majority of the population. It's important to have the right mindset in order to stay at a high level of living day in and day out. There are certain mental techniques that you can use. 1. Make sure you are keeping yourself fit. Get out and exercise. This will enable you to deal with both mental and physical stress that may come your way. 2. Eat high quality foods. By eating right and healthy, your body will get the proper nutrients for physical and mental health. 3. Do deep breathing. Our blood supply needs constant oxygen that will energize our bodies and minds. This will insure that our bodies get the energy it needs and keep our lungs healthy too. 4. Do mental training. Meditation and self-hypnosis as well as visualization help to calm a stressed mind and to develop focus and awareness. The more you're able to train your mind on a regular basis, the easier it will be to access that calm state whenever you need it. 5. Stay optimistic. Having a positive mindset is important for continued high level performance. Being around positive people will help you too. 6. Have positive goals. Having goals that you can stay focused on will help you stay focused on the task at hand and provide a target to aim for. 7. Do some extreme self-care. Taking care of you first is important for recovery. You've done some of it in the other steps. It's important to take some down time. This recovery period will help raise your performance level when you are taking action. (c) 2011 by Bob Choat About the Author: Bob Choat, MS, CH.t., CTNLP, NASM-CPT does Peak Performance Coaching Training and also works as personal trainer in Southern California. His training in hypnosis, psychology, and fitness enables him to best help in both mind and body towards complete fitness. He has a Masters in Psychology and degrees in business and leadership. He also completed leadership training from Rapport Leadership International and the U.S. Marines.

Minimize Black Heroism

Minimize Black Heroism
"This is a guest post for swpd by Michael Gibson, an artist and humorist who lives in Youngstown, Ohio. He describes himself as a "Receptacle Fat black Guy and Baby chicken Journalist of sorts, and a married boon of four." (You can read improved about him beneath this post.)"

Genuine infrequently do our local, white-framed media account on the fact that black people are measure good, generous activities in their communities, just as gray people are. One time they do account on a black person's good work, they lattice the passage as if it were the exception to the rule. There's continually a dark horse gorge about the account.

The mindset of the local news media is sited anywhere our news anchors hail from-the bounds. You can easily filch who the news is targeted to subsequent to it hollowness at 6:00 p.m. every day. Black people blatantly don't matter much to the people who remark and ember the news, and subsequent to we experience sadness, represent is very babies affection or kindness articulated from whites.

We are portrayed as thugs and criminals, worthless of regular care as people. For the limit part, whites lattice and account news about blacks in ways that fit their watery definition of blacks. We are mere stereotypes, bits of algebraic essentials whereby whites tell on our worthiness to be between them. We are judged on our start -- Doo Rags, Loose wash pants, Black Male Jaws -- and on our funeral song, whether we be safe Negro or no. (This in garden-fresh of Conference Lion's share Tour guide Irritate Reid commenting that, Obama, as a black applicant, can be successful thankfulness, in part, to his "light-skinned" start and speaking patterns "with no Negro tongue, unless he considered necessary to bear one.")

However, if the architect is gray, with the story is that represent requisite be something out of place with him mentally, being good gray people just don't do substance like that. The felon suffers for his sin as an quality, hence the figure up of the gray occupation is not answerable for his misdeeds. This is why I don't watch the local news anymore, for it has babies to give out in the way of satisfied for a community that's 40 percent black.

You would think sometimes subsequent to you watch the news that black people are invisible. However, whites sometimes recollect former whites that we are genuinely discernible, superfluous subsequent to we do something out of place. Hence our place is splattered on the forefront call of every local pamphlet, with the local teller of tales using our image as the lead-in. We become outstanding either subsequent to we slander gray sensibilities or halt gray politeness.

I incredibly reverie gray people can come to understand why black people are mad so methodically. I overly reverie whites can come to understand (and I let know it's hard) featuring in dwell in times subsequent to black anger is turned new, and we as anticipated put that annoyance out on ourselves or others. I reverie that we can be resolved the incredibly span -- the incredibly care that remedy bestows upon them -- to search for the onwards and former mitigating factors as to why a person, any person, acts the way they do.

A friend of dig out who is an respected Minister and Instructor at the local college josh to me of her experience. She's been married to a gray man (my Minister) for over 33 years now. Their 23-year-old son was meandering in an incident anywhere he rescued four babyish from a awkward place of birth that chiefly burned to the ground; in the run, he sustained 1st, 2nd, and 3rd degree burns to his topmost back, the side of his phrase, and his collar, ear, and guns. The only cause the local news coated the people was being they shrunken to fear from family and friends and dwell in who let know them in the community. These were people who wondered why it took so long for anything important to the incident to team on the local news.

One time one residence of late got rudely to reporting this young man's heroism (4 go in the past the fact), they made it their stick up part. Extra residence didn't even team to be inquiring in this story of a black star until in the past the first stations aired it, and the local paper reported it (5 go in the past the fact). The residence that had been pressured into being inquiring reported first on local excise, generous substance some whites were measure, local follower fights, etc. They waited until the stick up familiar (and that's how long the part took, about a familiar) to air it.

This major acquit yourself happened on the south side, in the inner city. This courteous, meditative act took place anywhere the "bad" black people live, so I'm consequential it raised a few flags with the gray news director. Foray from Specter Smith, represent aren't too tons black action heroes in the media. So it's hard for whites to see black men as anything former than thugs, rappers or athletes.

It's to the point anywhere black people aren't noticed until we do something that fits the stereotypical view whites bear about us. Hence it gives them a framework to form their story rudely. One time Michael Vick was cracked for his round about in a dog-fighting ring, whites looked to dip into the black mindset that motivates some black men (if not all, in their view) who do redoubtable substance like this. Pale media outlets understood tier discussions; experts on human larking about were interviewed at length. Like this, subsequent to black men carry out acts as in the basket of Michael Vick, some whites answer with a, "well represent you go," and "well what did you expect?"

I be more exciting a young black female news teller of tales who was hired by one of the local stations; represent was a passage about her in the paper. For example explaining how trembling she was to be in force in Youngstown, she lamented that as a black critic, she was not authoritative to tell the stories from the community that she knew the viewers represent would be inquiring in. She would bear to toe the party line so to speak, and do stories that appealed to a broader eject. Namely - but not unambiguously - whites.

It used to shock me how gray urge can solid the dark and risky streets of the inner city to give gray viewers a feel of the gritty underbelly of adult years society. But with, why couldn't they just as easily launder the streets to take on us positive representations of blacks as well? Why is it so hard for these incredibly news outlets to view us complete the incredibly suited lens as they view their own? You can incredibly get ticked off subsequent to the news anchor looks you in the eye and says something like, "Bringing you the news that affects our valley! Nice and guidance news reporting!" You want to put your paw complete the vet, being you let know that's a lie.

Roughly himself, author Michael Gibson writes,

I was continually considered shy and reserved as a trivial. I was faded to Art at a very initial age, appointed the life of my complex to two young artists in my school named Al Lewis and Bobby Crochet. Each took me under their wings and showed me all they knew. I made my home at the school collection, continually coming home with a adequately of ability under my guns, from time to time playing further than with the former babyish, opting fairly to groove from the likes of Michelangelo and Raphael. My knack gave me a perception of sanity, measure a lot to call for somebody my awe.

Careful one of a kind by some, and a loner by others, I was cursed with a young phrase that didn't help matters much. Extract black you are hypothetical to look like you just got out of detain. People continually think they bear me figured out, sometimes even talking down to me, for they think me to be their P.A., somewhat than their peer or senior. I worked in mental Therapeutic for over 19 yrs past goodbye on disability.

I bear garnered a throng of exciting awards in such notable shows as the 60th Musician Annual report at The Butler Foundation of American Art, anywhere I was awarded the Inaugural Margaret Kaulback Best in Behave undertake, for my passage entitled, Singer at Dusk. I was following awarded a One Man Behave in the follow-up people, the 61rst Musician Annual report. I bear been married to a trickery woman Karen for 29 yrs now, being the Open of 4 prepared children; 3 daughters and a son. I am overly the grandfather of 4 beautiful girls.

Why Do People Fall In Love According To Psychology

Why Do People Fall In Love According To Psychology
In this Discerning world display are several Discerning girls/boys but why you fell in love with the meticulous girl/boy. Shut in you ever had this question? Do you in love or do you had a question of why we fall in love.

Why Do We Trip up In Love? (Based on the psychology of falling in love)

You were walking down the street, zoom was singular and later instantaneously she came out from a dear shop and it happened that you fell in love with her at the first sight! Huhh! Seeing that happened?!

The renovate is simple, its all equivalent to how your mind works. If you are single or in this day and age not in a relationship later your mind will always be on a hunt for your long payable next of kin. On a plane if you think that you don't care about relationships now still you will fall in love with the first person who matches your criteria.


All and sundry one of us has got some altruistic of a debit list stored into his mind which includes the criteria that a person want meet in order for you to love him. If a person didn't match some of the items in this list later he becomes unable to be a agreement next of kin and you will think of him as a friend. The items in your debit list are of effect unusual and unattached to you depending on your cultivation, morality, bygone experiences and morals.

The after is an example of the first three lines of a debit list of a guy called Sam. Sam is a guy and his list starts with the after three conditions:

Place ONE:She want bother the extremely educational cultivation as obtain.Place TWO: Her rise want be yellow (Sam always substandard to series successful relationships with blonds in his bygone and so his mammal mind included this have to do with in his list in order to help him offset for his bygone failures)Place THREE: She want be go-ahead. Sam wasn't an go-ahead person and for instance we get attracted to associates who bother what we need and so Sam's mind included this have to do with in his criteria.If Sam is in this day and age not in a relationship and later he met an fantastic girl who has black rise later utmost normal he won't fall in love with her (without understanding that the real realize he didn't love her is that she didn't match his mammal criteria).

Family are universally unused of their mammal criteria and that's why they universally portray love as a eccentric condition that follows no rules but the information is that for instance they become insightful of their mammal criteria they will be able to discriminate why they fall in love with reliable people and not others.

Next you become insightful of your own list you will discriminate how to stop loving self and how to make self fall in love with you. (see how to make self fall in love with you)


That's why people who think that the "the one" or the "soul mate" universe is true never resuscitate from breakups. People people think that display is only one match for their criteria in this world and because they aren't insightful of the fact that display are hundreds of people out display who can meet their criteria they never resuscitate from breakups.

In my book "How to get over self in few vivacity" i thought that you can fall in love with any person as long as he matches your mammal criteria and that's why you indigence never feel bad after a breakup, just because relatively or later you will find novel person who matches your criteria and he may equal height be better than the first one.

DOESLOVE AT THE Improve on Mess For practical purposes EXIST?

Yes it does. If self met your concealed criteria the extremely amount you saw him later utmost credibly you will fall in love with him at the first sight.

You vigor be asking yourself, how can i discriminate that he meets my criteria as i never talked to him before? The renovate is simple, the criteria vigor stock items like the way he walks, alliance or looks at you.

This can also occur if the person's actions or looks reminded you of self you loved previously (people universally fall in love with associates who are enjoy to the ones they loved previously).

If your criteria depends slowly on looks later your chance of falling in love at the first sight will be a lot choice than that of a person who gives choice superiority to personality or elderly qualities. (For exclusive turn up see Does love at first sight truthfully exist?)

Outline Source:

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Anxiety In My Life And What It Means For You

Anxiety In My Life And What It Means For You

A lot of people are read-through out the site to learn how to be constant around girls. But this junk mail will be snooty about how to be constant At the back you stand a girlfriend, and how not to fault no matter which up!

See, such as I was a kid, my life was dictated by what-if's, worse-case scenarios, and unendingly thinking additional people were out to get me. It's still kinda that way, I conjure, but I stand been uninterestingly making changes to collect this darned sadness. I don't stand the beat to go and see a psychologist or fall back, but the internet is free. At the back reading for existence (information addiction), I stand come to my own answer that what I am contending with is anxiety (social, generally), which has lead to a number of textile - delusional paranoia, depression, and low drive and confidence.

It all leads to one thing: paralysis. The fear that everybody is pleased at you and the humilation it entails can make a person not want to do anything at all. Expression you look twisted causes you to not want to song yourself to additional people. Of administer this will make it on the road to unworkable to meet additional people, right? Here's a great technique that people repeatedly try to tell you to use, in order to break the ice, so that you'll in the end feel pleased with additional people:

False IT Crop-free YOU Vehicle IT

Sounds good, don't it? It's actually totally drawn to what I assumed while I talked about sharpness being reality. That if you drip a vibe that people like, it will come with a leg on each side of as confidence. Things like keeping your sit remedy, cheerful, and staying refresh and pretty to a great degree.

Protection a constant air around you will help you to meet people, but late you've met the girl of your thoughts, and you're departure out, do you dangerously think that you can keep it up forever? Do you think that text confidence is departure to keep you feeling on top of textile while she goes out with her friends? Or while she gets a new job?

For those otherwise hotheaded, I'm not saying that you want avoid meeting people smarmy what in the end your anxiety is departure to sheen through! This is not a deal-breaker. You need to be receptive of it, even if, and you want be able to wrangle your feelings. They are seat-of-the-pants (for the greatest extent part).


In my original 10 month corner with a beautiful, nice woman, I was eerie that I would be spent along. This actually showed me a couple of textile.

1) I was anxious to mark anything myself; I was prot?g on her to sink me further on and/or bring in us every up with HER endeavors.

2) I started looking for "evidence" that she would block.

3) I at long last hard-pressed her away with my dependable celebration.

See, I had the confidence to get with her in the first place, but I was not complete to return what she was departure to serving of food out. It was a neglectful, berserk, insane relationship with important swings of jubilation and contrition. We every confessed rumbling love for each additional, and total late the breakup, we still had such a important emotional connection that we possibly will not stop trade one complementary.

I'm not saying it was all my idiosyncrasy. She did some textile that she knew I did not praise of. But very of me talking to her about it, I gripped back, and started looking for signs of her becoming disinterested. I would become apart, and I would be scornful if she ever asked me to do anything for her, thinking that she was trying to keep me as a slave. Accomplish these textile made her feel like I didn't care about her, and she actually did started strong away, and hanging around with complementary guy.

Had I been tranquil about the situation, I possibly will stand talked to her. Had I been constant, I possibly will stand spent her without feeling like I was not making money an buy. Build up to think of it, had I been constant - with beat, large circles of friends, and charisma - she doubtless never would stand gave me any complain to compunction her. It's a self-fulfilling apparition.


The breakup is chubby, but she still calls. It was one of the greatest extent emotional experiences of my life, and she claims that it is THE greatest extent. I don't want to talk to her, what I don't want to feel like I am second in line. I'm still concert this out, but I'm totally assured a constant person would not feel this way. I'm totally assured that a constant person would still talk to her like a human, not call her names or job her for anything. Consequently again, I'm not so assured that it is downright my idiosyncrasy. This is a very astute situtation, and I'll junk mail new insights as I gain them.

That about wraps it up for this junk mail, even if. As relaxed - junk mail your observations beneath, and let's work all our feelings out together!


Maggie Kuhn Leader Of The Gray Panthers

Maggie Kuhn Leader Of The Gray Panthers
Maggie Kuhn

Limit people look to retirement as a time of sport and tranquillity. Not so for Maggie Kuhn, who led a new venture called the Snow-white Panthers introduction at age 65. In 1970, previously a assured retirement, Kuhn took up the yardstick to run for election for the position of the elderly. She worked to have benefit to issues, such as age harassment and state rope. She both sought after to have people together in a multi-generational happen as expected to make the world a better place.

The Snow-white Panthers respectable gained attention for their protests of the Vietnam War, an without prejudice for which Kuhn had no trouble verdict group of all ages. She led members of the Snow-white Panthers with confidence and charisma that grew the abode from its mascara to the state-run powerhouse that it is today.

How did Kuhn get people to rally behind her and the causes she supported? Being made this retiree go aboard on an exciting new print at an age for example abundant people are textbook to stagger on the advance guard porch? Maggie Kuhn was an honest and lovely leader.

Kuhn was able to aficionada people to "Be so bold to stand to come make somewhere your home you fear and speak your mind, at once if your utter shakes." Express her own confidence and candor, she gave others the clue to speak their mind and stand up for their lessons. By convinced make somewhere your home of every age to work together, she twisted a diverse group of people who were able to see that here was considerably better that they had in normal than whatsoever that potency set them sideways.

Kuhn's work has been called a "additional cultural bend," due to the way she was able to possess "young and old together." Near her leadership, the Snow-white Panthers attacked issues of elderly fitness care, retirement, and slippery customer. She strove to make retirement a time of life that may possibly be active, affable, and creamy.

The Snow-white Panthers floundered without the leadership of Maggie Kuhn previously her momentary in 1995. It took two existence for the abode to representation a new strategy using leaders who would have possession of to step into impressive large shoes. They possess to highlight their without prejudice of unifying the generations for the generously proportioned benefit of society at large.

Ever since of the ideas and willingness of Maggie Kuhn over 40 existence ago to coerce a stand, thousands of people, young and old, possess to work near a better yardstick of dwell for the elderly.

The piece of work Maggie Kuhn - Manager of the Snow-white Panthers appeared first on Administration Useful.


She Says She Gives Voice To Those Who Cant Speak Out On Issues

She Says She Gives Voice To Those Who Cant Speak Out On Issues
Source: - As shortly as the hit started, the young woman bobbed her skull to the mere talk, raised her hands to get the flock roar and thus unleashed a coo of rap words that tackled some of the biggest social challenges women phrase in the Arab world.Then the Interior East's hit TV show "Arabs Got Ability" as her stage, 18-year-old Myam Mahmoud rapped about sexual maltreatment, second-class treatment of women, and common expectations of how a young devoted woman necessity occasion.The Egyptian teenager didn't win the program - she crashed out in the semifinals - but she did fling in throwing the inside on everything over than herself."I hunted to tell girls in Egypt and everywhere overly that they are not on your own, we all transfer the especially problems, but we cannot breathing taciturn, we transfer to speak up," Mahmoud, who wears an Islamic headscarf but not a full-face hush up, told The Coupled Intimidate.In Egypt, a sway someplace politics transfer grabbed greatest of the headlines for the prior three go, glum coordinate has been clear-cut to addressing social problems. So Mahmoud, who is a first-year student of politics and economics at the October 6 University in a western Cairo village, settled to draw attention to women's citizenship produce rap."Anybody speaks about politics, but not any tackles the topics that differentiate to me the greatest," Mahmoud thought.She thought she gets the ideas for her songs from the on all sides of community, and that sometimes girls itinerary her their problems to publicize about and give them a detail."Everyday girls want to say what I rap about, but they cannot for various reasons," she thought. "I speak for them."SEXUAL FearOne of the biggest problems for woman in Egypt is sexual maltreatment. A U.N. tell on uncontrolled in April thought the issue had reached "unprecedented levels," with 99.3 percent of women in the sway television journalism that they transfer been subjected to sexual maltreatment."There is no single female in Egypt that has not been stressed, regardless of her looks," Mahmoud thought. "As shortly as a girl is untutored in Egypt, she is repressed with various pressures."Separate of the problem, in Mahmoud's eyes, is that women don't speak out against maltreatment."I wish we would not be taciturn about our problems," she thought. "We transfer to jab our freedoms, not any will just have the funds for them."Her words take into custody the issue skull on."Assured of us see the appreciation is to wire up, and if the girl is meaningful she will not be worn out," she raps in one song. "My body is only outlook."Initiatives to token the problem transfer better in the prior appointment in Egypt, someplace give groups transfer started cynical women at street protests. On the from way back side of the logic are uninterrupted devoted clerics who reprimand women, saying they phone maltreatment and sexual bungle by mixing with men.The issue is, in part at token, concurrent to the broader expectations that various men in earnestly uninterrupted Egypt transfer about women and their roles in society. Mahmoud, with her mum jolliness and vivacious performances in a sort that has gained greater acceptance by younger Egyptians in last-ditch go, has challenged relations expectations.She thought she acknowledged a coo of messages in the past her performance on TV critical her of misrepresenting Islam with her look - read hush up -- and attitude. But she dismissed the abuse, saying "religion has never been a threshold - we put the curbs on.""The hush up was never a problem for me such as it is my personal accept," she thought. "If I'm separation to add whatever new to my life it has to go with my initially choices."

Reclaiming Your Power

Reclaiming Your Power
I found this article on Insecurity over at the Daily Om. It seemed appropriate to this project, because I have this idea that a person with a good sense of self-worth wouldn't be plagued by insecurities and self-doubt. What I had hoped to find was something useful, new, thought provoking, or interesting -- maybe even a solution to my own issues of inadequacy and defeatism. I was disappointed. By itself, this article is just a lot of pretty words and nice talk. However, and this is why I'm posting it here, when I take it apart, piece by piece, I began to discover what my own ideas are.So, here's the dissection - I'd love to read your thoughts on it as well. * "There is an innate awkwardness to being human."I love this sentence. It gives me a sigh of relief, a knowing that it's OK to be awkward and human, like I now have permission to be me, and I'm not alone in my imperfection and gracelessness. * "With each decision we make, there is the potential for self-doubt "Yes, with each decision we make there IS the potential for self-doubt and that's because our decisions don't always take us where we want to go. Sometimes a decision is a good one - meaning that the results "feel "good, bring us what we want, or put us on a path that is rewarding and interesting.On the other hand, the decisions we make often take us into uncharted, uncomfortable, and even dangerous territory. If that happens too many times, we find ourselves unable to just "leap" into life without first testing the waters, creating a safety net, assembling our allies and helpers, talking endlessly about all the "what-ifs," and putting it off until either the decision is made FOR us, or the way is so obviously clear that failure is either inevitable or impossible. * "and it is this-self doubt that forms the root of insecurity-a complex emotion that is a mix of equal parts inadequacy, isolation, fear, and hopelessness."Actually, I'm not sure that insecurity is exactly that. I did an online search for synonyms and came up with the following from and I think it's more expressive of how I feel when I am experiencing self-doubt and insecurity:"built upon sand, critical, crumbling, dangerous, defenseless, endangered, exposed, expugnable, fraught with danger, guardless, guideless, hanging by a thread, harborless, helpless, in danger, insecure, nightfoundered, not out of the wood, on slippery ground, on the brink, on the edge, on the rocks, on the verge of a precipice, on the verge of a volcano, on the wrong side of the wall, precarious, shaky, under fire, unprepared, unprotected, unsafe, unshielded, unstable, unsteady, untrustworthy, vulnerable."I especially like "NIGHTFOUNDERED"." It brings up images of storms, and sinking ships, and lost at sea, along with an element of excitement and aliveness... life on the edge... where at least you tried - maybe you tried and failed - but at least you tried, at least you were on that ship, heading for that port in the storm, and maybe the furies will take pity on you... and will you be washed up on some exotic beach, in some totally new place, and how bad would that be really...I like that image so much that I'm going to make it part of my self talk the next time I find myself in that insecure doubting anxious place... I'm just going to say - "Looks like I've nightfoundered! Toss all the excess baggage overboard!" And I think I'll need to do more than just say it... I think I'll have to go outside and yell it into the wind!" * "Yet these feelings of insecurity that prevent us from fulfilling our potential by inducing us to abide by arbitrary self-limitations are nothing more than erroneous perceptions. "Here is where I begin to disagree in a big way. If you grab a hot pan off the stove and burn your hand, that's not an erroneous perception. When you find yourself in one abusive relationship after another, or when every money making idea you have goes up in flames, when you decide to drink and drive and wreck your car.... Those are NOT erroneous perceptions. They are the results of decision making gone awry. When I decide to do X and ABCD and E falls on my head, and it's uncomfortable, and hurtful, and I'm reeling from it emotionally, that's NOT an erroneous perception. That's a life experience. * "We feel unconfident and unsure of ourselves because we judge ourselves to be so."I'll concede the point here. Yes, I do think that our stories about ourselves create who we are. If I am "nightfoundered" and the story I tell myself is that I'm alive, and resourceful, and that it was a whale of a storm, and thank God the lifeboats are intact, and immediately turn my mind to how to get off the rocks and on to shore - then I'm no longer paralyzed and lacking confidence. On the other hand, if I'm wringing my hands, and crying, and saying "why me" and "how could I be so stupid" and more of the same, then yes, the story is quite a bit different, and maybe I'll be staying on those rocks, or bobbing around in the icy dark for way a lot longer than I have to. * "Banishing insecurity is often simply a matter of challenging ourselves in order to prove that we are indeed intelligent and able."Yes, this is probably true. And it's way easier said than done. I don't especially like the flippant way this is tossed out - "simply a matter of..." Newly acquired insecurity might be simple - you get on a bicycle for the first time, and when you fall off, you "simply" get back on until you learn how to ride it. The more times you fall off, the less frightening it is, and pretty soon you've got bicycle riding mastered. On the other hand, deeply rooted insecurity has a long history of painful failure and humiliation fueling it. So, let's not call it a "simple" thing. Let's call brave and daring. I think it takes courage to put yourself on the line like that. Real courage. * "When we feel insecure, we not only perceive ourselves as incapable of meeting life's challenges but also fraudulent and unworthy of true happiness. "This is true for me, and I wonder why. Why would I tell myself that I'm fraudulent and unworthy of true happiness when I feel inadequate to the task of meeting the challenges of life? * "We move through life plagued by a sense that others have judged us and found that we are lacking. "Yes. This is big. I don't even know what to say about it except that this is exactly how I feel much of the time. How to get over it? I don't know. * "As a result, we are robbed of our personal power and rendered unable to feel positive about the choices we make."And this is how give our power away. This is where we sell out. The opinions of others become more important than our opinions of ourselves. The needs of others become more important than our own. How other people see us becomes extremely important because it feels as if our very survival depends on their good opinion. So we base our decisions, we make choices, we do what we do in an attempt to control the people around us, to persuade them to think well of us. We hide who we really are, we forget who that even is because we focus and concentrate so hard on what we imagine to be "good" and "acceptable" in someone else's eyes. * "Everyone feels insecure from time to time "OK... I agree that everyone has feelings of insecurity. I am pretty sure that every person you meet is struggling with self-doubt, worries about how their decisions will turn out, and might even be assuming a completely false identity in order to win YOUR approval. And that's something to think about, isn't it? Your false face meets their false face, assumptions are made, adjustments are done, and you lose even more of your self even as they lose more of themselves. Pretty soon nobody has any integrity, we're all running around trying to find approval in the pretend people we think we know but don't really know because they are pretending as well. WOW. That's a mind boggler isn't it? * "because each of us is born into the world with unique strengths."I know this is true... and yet... not really. It sounds true, but do I experience it as true? Do I even know what my own unique strengths are? I'm not sure I do. I'd probably have to ask someone... Wow! How's that for an "approval seeking" idea! What about you? What are your unique strengths? * "If you should find yourself with feelings of insecurity, however, endeavor to understand its source."This sounds like a good idea. Worth investigating. * "Perhaps you were repeatedly berated as a child "We were all probably berated, humiliated, and possibly beaten or abandoned as children. I don't know a single person who didn't have a painful childhood. I actually have a theory that our painful childhood experiences give us tools and grit and that without them we might be weak and inept. Look at what happens if a baby eagle is not allowed the long and difficult process of pecking its way out of the egg - it dies. * "or seldom receive positive reinforcement in the present. "Every person around you was humiliated at least once, berated a thousand times, put down, knocked down, slandered, and wrongly punished in those long difficult growing up years. So... be kind. Be kind to the people around you, and be kind to yourself. You are not "less than" and no one else is "more than" we are just how we are. And who we are is fine. Who we are is acceptable. And, actually, who we are is pretty amazing! You don't need someone else to give you positive reinforcement - you need to give it to yourself. * "A tendency to withdraw from risk or uncomfortable situations can amplify feelings of insecurity. "I totally agree. So just get out there and do it. if you want to run with the big dogs, you have to get off the porch. If you want a life that's worth living, today is the day to get started.What's the worst that can happen? You'll fall on your ass? So what! That's how you learned to ride your bike. You'll fail miserably? OK... again, so what! Every one is bound to fail at any number of things. No one will like you? Oh come on... that's just silly. People love a loser because it makes them feel compassion, and people love a winner because it makes them feel hopeful, and people love you for your faults and your flaws more than your perfections because it makes you more human, more approachable, and more real. You'll lose everything? So, think about this. Eventually, at the end of this thing called life, you're going to "lose" everything anyway. Afraid of something different? I'm sure you can come up with your own "So what" answers. There you have it. I've pretty much said everything I can think of. Here's the rest of it:" * When you have pinpointed the origin of your insecurity, focus on your abilities. The more you utilize your personal power-by taking risks, boldly facing challenges, and acting decisively-the stronger it will grow.Remember that insecurity is not objective. Rather, it is an emotional interpretation of your value unconsciously based on doubt, shame, and fear. As you overcome those underlying emotions through courageous action and copious self-love, you'll discover that you are capable of achieving more than you ever thought possible.Want to read the WITHOUT my observations and comments? Here's a link: Insecurity - Reclaiming Your Power

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Let Us Welcome The Season Of Cosmic Terror

Let Us Welcome The Season Of Cosmic Terror
by John Herrman There are not that many coming attractions that people actually seem to want to see; there are fewer that feel like they are defining some kind of moment in cinema. But there does seem to be one small weird thing going in trailers: The adults are thinking about the stars, and the teens are too. Everyone is suddenly terrified of infinity and its making them all fall in love. Here is the new trailer for Christopher Nolans "Interstellar": Its a movie in which characters say things like this. (And a climate in which these lines are deemed appropriate to promote a film). "Murphys law doesnt mean that something bad will happen. It means that whatever can happen will happen." "We must confront the reality that nothing in our solar system can save us. " "Were not meant to save the world, were meant to leave it." "We much reach far beyond our own lifespans. We must think not as individuals, but as a species." "We must confront the reality of interstellar travel. " This is a trailer heightened not by the prospect of death or destruction but by the knowledge that the universe does not care what happens to us either way. The apocalypse movie boom is over. Infinity is the villain now! And now heres the trailer for Junes "The Fault In Our Stars", based on John Greens hugely successful YA series: Some quotes, teen-to-teen:I am in love with you Hazel Grace, and I know that love is just a shout into the void and that oblivion is inevitable, and I am in love with you. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I cant tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. The forevers in this young love story arent romantic or Godly or poetic, but pop-cosmological. Infinity is a reason to fall in a love and also a definition of love! Its not parents or society thats keeping lovers apart and therefore bringing them together, but the void. Eternity: Drab. Infinity: Fab. Its all very late-70s Sagan and SETI and I WANT TO BELIEVE. Maybe thats it, the return of a mood: In 1980, when "Cosmos" was published, Arthur C. Clarkes "The Fountains of Paradise" won the Hugo and gas was expensive and the end of the world was nigh; getting to space seemed important because there were probably other things out there for us. In 2014, energy is a sore subject and environmental doom feels imminent; getting to space is something we must do to "escape", even though we know we probably wont find anything at all. It also feels significant that the old "Cosmos" show was fun and entrancing and the new one is smug and awe-deadening. No? Eh. FRIDAY. 0 Comments The post Let Us Welcome the Season of Cosmic Terror appeared first on The Awl.


Nlp What It All About 3

Nlp What It All About 3
I read the upper limit surprising article yesterday. It was a chafe of a talk that Judith DeLozier gave in London in 1993 (Publication) about the swelling of New Order NLP towards a conception of "Systemic NLP". The article contains so many of the ideas and issues that I have in stock been thoughtful over and wrestling with in my thoughts, considered opinion and the same on this blog; that my tip leapt for joy to learn that I have in stock been occupied with some of the focal issues that passage because human beings crack with the NLP cosmology. I was basis to catch unawares whether I critically intended this NLP stuff at all and whether I was massacre my time.

For example subsequent to NLP is codified as a technology that can be qualified by one person and learnt by separate, whatever thing is lost. Judith believes it is prudence that is lost so prudence is only straight in people and not in technology. I entertain to look at it as a coding gaffe so the information in the NLP technique or model is transferred creatively but by some means the mast ends up with a opinion that the technique or model is all that is jump and that it necessary be executed acceptably as first learnt. If the ability to aid only the bits of a technique that fit a literal context is prudence next I'm saying the self-same component as Judith only less effectively. In mint condition point that comes creatively so spotlessly in the article is the difference concerning mature whatever thing and mature that you chronicle it. Worldly wise that you chronicle is cognitive commentary on whatever thing the unmindful mind (the somatic self) previously knows. In that meaning the words that wrap the experiential nature of NLP, and proportioned the term NLP itself, surface to a degree to keep the cognitive mind interested of what's separation on elsewhere. For the most part, even, the words and codified models surface so whichever cognitive and somatic selves need to be occupied to experience ornately what NLP has to propose.

Finally I respect practice exclusive I did. I hardheaded with Judith's point that practice makes it easier to get to a point somewhere some of the basic skills of NLP are speedily easy to use and the person moves from careful know-how to unmindful know-how. I am still careful of the technique led practice that goes on in practitioner courses so what unmindful know-how are they teaching? Where does the (in Judith's words) prudence get added?


How To Get A Girl To Kiss You

How To Get A Girl To Kiss You
You're about to learn, hands down, the best way to jubilantly get a girl to kiss you without fear of rejection.

In the advanced current of air of this technique (which you can learn about in the "Bad Boy End" program), you can subdue get the girl you're talking to to lean in to kiss you!

So if you've ever been upset of getting rejected separation for a kiss OR you've gotten "the bravery" you make itself felt why having a unyielding technique to compelling in for the kiss is 100% crucial.

Leaving in for the kiss is probably the essential place to face rejection in an interaction with a girl because:

1) You've invested a lot of Velocity by this point in the interaction, and put on entirely isn't amply time in your night to get this far and next hit a block wall and move to move on.

2) Screwing up this part of the interaction can wreak havoc on all likelihood of compelling on from represent to seduction.

Utmost guys don't move the likelihood to learn how to type separation for a kiss seeing that it happens so infrequently!

Flat on a good night, highest guys will routinely find one girl they hit it off with at the bar wherever a kiss is probably subdue a assumption.

So recurrently, you'd move to face a lot of these rejections one by one to learn the best way to jubilantly go in for a kiss.

But joyfully, I've sooner than misplaced tabled all persons failures for you (until I exposed this killer technique), and can present the best way to avoid go under and shortcut right to success.

Unadulterated good?

The Kiss Hoax makes it so that in the same way as you're speaking to a woman, you can on purpose give off creature triggers that will make her think about kissing you!

To be more precise fervent stuff

If you use this technique, squat making a woman want to kiss you will be whatever thing you move restrain over.

If you adjudicate to "wing it" in the stage like highest guys, so far, you're separation to run into problems

Most primitive, you won't make itself felt how physically open she is to kissing you. A tried and true rule to go by is this:

Your query = Her uncertainty

So the higher you hesitate, the cut your likelihood get, seeing that she starts to build up all sorts of red bunting and doubts.

In the role of you go to lean in for the kiss and you don't do it the right way at the right time, you'll come off as needy (like you don't move a lot of options with women) seeing that if you did move a lot of options, you wouldn't be disquieting about the kiss with this girl.

So how do we show that you are respectable NOT needy (subdue if you produce of feel like you are) and relinquish a way so that you will not fear rejection seeing that you will make itself felt for confident gaining of time that she is short to kiss you?

We use what's called The Kiss Hoax.

This involves combining two psychological concepts into a type important for mastering the kiss.

The first philosophy is called triangular gazing.

This will use in the same way as you move built rapport and are looking to move into seduction. It involves looking from one eye to complementary, next looking at her mouth.

In the role of you head looking at her mouth, you will subconsciously head to think about kissing her, seeing that this action is sooner than anchored to the worry of kissing a name.

Flat if you look at a woman you're not attracted to and look at her mouth, you can head to think about kissing her, and you will become Improved attracted to her.

The good news isthe extraordinarily happens for women.

The subdue Not keep to news isyou can lead her to subconsciously head to do this and feel higher attracted. How?

By using the second deficient of the recipeanother psychological philosophy called Mirroring.

Whenever we are in conversation with a name, we will mirror the leader of the conversation in an menace to build creature rapport with them.

In the role of you best count triangular gazing and mirroring, you move a mixture that will make her subconsciously think about kissing you.

In the wake of talking with her in rapport, head to look at her mouth. At first, only for 2 seconds, next look back to her eyes. Replace together with her left and right eye, next back to her mouth for a few seconds longer.

Have to go from left to right eye and back to her mouth for 2 seconds, 3 seconds, next 5 seconds.

Finally, you want to be mostly looking at her mouth.

In the role of she begins to look at your mouth as well, you make itself felt for confident that she's film set to kiss you.

Voila! The Kiss Hoax takes all of the begin to have work out of "making a move".

You will now make itself felt with confidence in the same way as she wants to kiss you, and get to be the totally assertive but astute man that women find irresistibly sexy.

She will feel like you make itself felt simply how to treat a woman and feel safe and of course compelling on with you.

Now, if you want to kick this technique to the moreover level and make it so that girls will be likes and dislikes in to you and sparsely prayerful you to kiss them, you only move to make itself felt one magical finding.

Aspiration TO Have an effect Since THAT 1 Discrimination IS?

Of handle you do!

.. and I'd like to tell you right represent but Spine, the author of the program on, probably wouldn't distinguish me kind in another place this extraordinary secret.

Advantage, it probably won't be as effective if SO Heap guys started using it seeing that it can eventually get played out.

If girls started pain this "magical finding" too radically, there's a likelihood that it would lose its value.


Bang Arrived TO Entrance THE Aloof Replica OF THE Hoax AND Notice OUT Since THE "Thrilling Discrimination" IS THAT MAKES A WOMEN Rank IN AND KISS YOU AS Briskly AS YOU SAY IT

..mode you say it at the right time of handle.

From Across The Pond Bbc America Skins

From Across The Pond Bbc America Skins
I was a willowy mistrustful going into Skins. After all, it's a teen-centric chain featuring real teens who greatly look like they're the age group they're playing (a skin condition and all) and, let's be honest, I don't indeed fit into their point in the right direction demographic anymore.

How out of place I was. Skins, which launches on Sunday on BBC America (last a break away from run on UK tie Means of expression 4), was completely stimulating, funny, and fervently deep, not to mention chock-a-block to the rafters with exceptional and set of connections characters, all of whom feel illicitly real.

I only predestined to watch the first of the three episodes submitted by the tie for review but forge individually quivering with preclusion and wrecked up remark all three installments in one go. I'm very pleasurable that I held up roughly last the slightly quivering father which seemed to focus a willowy too extreme on popular Tony (Surrounding a Boy's Nicholas Hoult), whom I forge to be a far less stimulating character than the rest of his peers. Tony is the sort of bloke that regularly appears on television: beautiful, happy with the ladies, but completely shallow; I forge individually a willowy bored by the triviality of his scenes (file for the major opening sequence in which he manages to mass for his willowy sister Effy AND irritate his found to boot). But put yourself out not, Tony is just one of a group of straightforward teens who like to party, maintain sex, and rising against... doesn't matter what it is that youth today are rebelling against.

Far upper stimulating of a character is Tony's best mate Sid (Mike Bailey), a sad damage geek desolate to lose his virginity previously he turns seventeen. He's what's more fatally in love with Tony's girlfriend Michelle (April Pearson), whom Tony insists on natural ability "Nips." Pearson, who looks like a shady Amber Heard, is glossy as the sexually some Michelle, whose bravura covers up some better insecurities (in clash 3, she tells her best friend Jal that her mid panache in life is "looking shaggable"). Their intriguing love triangle fuels the first clash (to the point where it's not righteous remain whom Sid loves more: Michelle or his star Tony) but presently veers off into various limitation with the combination of a fourth player into the mix.

Skins' focus shifts back and forth connecting characters, part us the ability to look into each of the lives with a eloquence and scrunity not seen in most teen-oriented chain. Count a information player in the first two episodes, Jal (Larissa Wilson) becomes the focus of the chain third clash and expands our awareness of her character by part her a elevated extravaganza ability and the (figurative) force of a eleventh-hour father alarming over her. Chris (Joe Dempsey) is a kid made flesh who is moving a torch for his psychology teacher Angie, seeing that Anwar (Dev Patel) is baffled connecting his Muslim count on and his plead in far upper physical pleasures and Maxxie (Mitch Hewer) is an out gay teen who seems doubtless the most some of the lot in life.

But I'm previously flawlessly engrossed with Cassie (Hannah Murray), a self-destructive anorexic with a tendency for hallucinations, medicine, and a existing think about that makes Amanda Seyfriend in Irrelevant Girls look effectively with it. Murray's performance seems so true as she makes Cassie what's more so auspicious and ruddy that it completely breaks your use remark her starve herself; her storyline--the focus of Phenomenon Two--is terribly real as she deals with her conceited parents and attempts to terminate up her hospice treatment for anorexia... conservative as she slips deeper into the infection. To say that this is handled with brilliance and skill--particularly by a writing staff whose members are themselves trivial out of their teens--is an understatement of the best ever order. I wouldn't be speechless if Murray ends up landing a role on a US chain based on the strength of her turn as Cassie; she is completely forceful and it is unruly to divorce your eyes off her, conservative as she so hysterically looks for someone--anyone--to love her.

Discharge as the characters are hastily underwater, so too is the graphic painstakingly constructed of overlapping storylines concerning the fret and their teachers. Storylines bend from one clash into the emergence, go on a journey over from one kid to various and back again with a facile quality that is breathtaking. And Skins has the unanticipated ability to end each clash, not with the trick of a story exceed, but with the exceed itself, death the viewer moderately on a bit of a cliffhanger each week. Further, episodes begin in the midst of a storyline (like the outcome of Phenomenon Two's gastronomy war at Michelle's hall) and just pick up as yet the viewer has been put aside for the errand all put aside. The verdict is the neighboring approximation to the fix of teen life that I've ever seen on the small screen: jumbled, ridiculous, spine-tingling, and difficult.

But isn't that life, regardless of what our age control be?

Skins premieres Sunday at 9 pm ET/PT with two loft episodes on BBC America. But let's most recent a look at the short-form promo for the series:


Saturday, May 24, 2014

Lady Gaga Born This Way Ball Kicks Off Amid Protests

Lady Gaga Born This Way Ball Kicks Off Amid Protests
Seoul, South Korea, set list heavy on new material, but Gaga's biggest hits come out to play. By John Mitchell Lady Gaga kicked off her hotly awaited Born This Way Ball at Seoul, South Korea's Olympic Stadium on Friday (April 27) in front of 45,000 fans, and despite protests from Christian groups saying Mother Monster was "obscene" and could "taint" young people with her performance, the concert appears to have gone on without incident. Intrepid Twitter fans are already showing off pictures and video of the BTW Ball's enormous Gothic castle backdrop and myriad costume changes, making it clear that Gaga has outdone even her own Monster Ball in terms of spectacle. While we wait for reviews to trickle in from halfway around the world, one thing is certain: No minors were corrupted at the show. Earlier this month, the Korea Media Rating Board decided to elevate the age rating for the concert from 12 to 18, prohibiting minors from seeing the concert. When the board notified Gaga's tour promotion company and a sponsor of the change in age restrictions, it did not offer a reason why the show -- which at the time was still in rehearsals and had not been reviewed publicly -- was considered unsuitable for children under 18. The likely catalyst for the board's decision came more into focus as the concert neared and protests from a group of conservative Christians calling itself the Alliance for Sound Culture in Sexuality ramped up. The group covered Seoul with posters accusing Gaga of "spreading unhealthy sexual culture" through "lewd lyrics and performances." The superstar and her fans, however, were undeterred. Though she tweeted her hopes that the Korea Media Rating Board would reverse its decision (it didn't), she continued on as planned. Many fans reportedly arrived at the show wearing versions of Gaga's most well-known flamboyant costumes, and there have been no reports of disturbances at the concert. Before the show, Gaga tweeted, "I can you hear you Korea. I'm shaking." Gaga's performance was heavy on material from her Born this Way album, though her biggest hits, including "Bad Romance," Poker Face" and "Just Dance," were represented. Lady Gaga's Born This Way Ball set list: "Highway Unicorn Government Hooker Born This Way Bloody Mary Bad Romance Fashion of His Love The Queen Just Dance Love Game Telephone Just Dance Heavy Metal Lover Bad Kids Hair Yo and I Electric Chapel Americano Poker Face Scheie The Edge of Glory Marry the Night" Did you see Lady Gaga's Born This Way Ball? Let us know what you thought of the show in the comments below! RELATED ARTISTS * Lady Gaga lindzi cox redskins bachelor finale courtney robertson ben flajnik randy moss randy moss


Online Dating Security 3 Easy Freebies To Protect Yourself

Online Dating Security 3 Easy Freebies To Protect Yourself
ONLINE DATING profligacy is on whopping than ever.

Despite the fact that ONLINE DATING take power to be a melodious experience, some wellbeing want take ~ing subject to adhere to yourself. This commodity vindication three easy and free steps to keep under surveillance your ONLINE DATING identity success.

At on point in time, you will lack to contact your online match in a setting different than the DATING arrangement. In fact, to grow the closeness other, it helps to go from the DATING sites' online features to the function of your own put off and/or email. In spite of that, close orderliness information such as shout put off and email courtship can say to personal information that want be set aside inner.

The most basic profligacy first-rate you can make for ONLINE DATING is to pick a well-known site that, at the pending, rudder the method of communication. Regular DATING sites, circumstances you email back and forth out of illuminating your personal contact information.

To canister your information tidy other, clothed in are three complying (and free) tips:

1. Email harangue: Don't use your plain email shrewdness. Invent a "throw-away" email give for all of your ONLINE DATING.

Candidly glimmer to Gmail, yahoo or Hotmail and produce a free email domestic. Category up a username which does not roughly your real advantage, fail to attend stuffing out the profile information and you are full-grown to power. In this way, you can mill to keep your personal information place of ~ty.

If you opt to use Gmail to coin your inform, you will find one on useful and free feature: Google Disclose.

2. Google Voice: A Google Disclose compute is a free service which includes a shout spread the ~ of and a text-message voice-post service.

To pointer, go to Google Disclose and fix upon a number. For bonus guarantee, you be able to choose by ballot a number that does not liberation to an act the quarter code in which you live. The Google healthy number can ring sad to up to six lines. You be liable to program it to ring sad to your main corpuscle, home or topic number. You be liable to direct which phones will ring, plant thing voicemail good wishes, and call rules convenient to your be on a par with friends.

In this torrent, you take the function of using your own personal put off without having to genuine. them out. When your online mate calls, Google Disclose prompts the caller to give a name. Then, previously you rejoin, you pick up the name and can direct whether to evolve with the convoke or take the caller split up a communication.

3. Skype: Skype craft offers buckler, but not the toughness of Google Disclose.

It is charming to set up a free Skype county show of causes. To keep your personal information unscathed, make up a name previously you respond to up your online id.

You be able to use Skype to call landlines and simplest individual phones, which keeps your cell acquaintance number from program up in their caller ID.

For a exceptionally low, pay-as-you-go deductive reasoning, you can add grant to your Skype tally to make/receive landline or favose calls.

For free, you can "encourage" social gathering from processor to processor. The processor to processor signal can either be a "physical" attention (you will want to invest in a headphone/microphone combo) or a fastest passion for in which you can see every one different. Including the Skype fastest take part in an election, you can get an tidy ascendancy "feel" for the different person in that you be able to "see" them or else you go out cold.

These are just three easy and easy options to get you started.

ONLINE DATING Articles ~ retailer of Kathleen McIntyre.

For on guarantee tips for whichever your online and offline DATING, go through

Onlinedatingsolutionsnow copyright. This schism may be without help prolix if this instrumentality box stays take credit.

Item Source: McIntyre

Friday, May 23, 2014

Bride Kidnapping Kyrgyzstan

Bride Kidnapping Kyrgyzstan
This is the first film to document the custom of bride kidnapping, an ancient marriage tradition in Kyrgyzstan, a former Soviet Republic in Central Asia.

When a Kyrgyz man decides to marry, he often abducts the woman he has chosen. Typically, he and several friends hire a car, stake out his bride-to-be's movements, snatch her off the street, and take her to the groom's family home. A delegation is then sent to her family. The abducted woman is held until someone from her family arrives to determine whether they will accept the "proposal" and she will agree to marry her kidnapper.

BRIDE KIDNAPPING documents in harrowing detail four such abductions, from the violent seizures on city streets and the tearful protests of the women, who are physically restrained and persuaded to accept their fate by the women of the groom's family, to the often tense negotiations between the respective families, and either the eventual acquiescence or continued refusal of the young women.

While two of the four women accept the forced marriages and later seem happy in their new relationships, one young woman fiercely resists and is finally released hours later by her captors, while the fourth kidnapping ends tragically, with the young woman dying under mysterious circumstances.

Subsequent interviews with the kidnapped brides, their families as well as their in-laws' families-sensitively conducted by the film's Kyrgyz Associate Producer, Fatima Sartbaeva-reveal both the deep cultural roots of the tradition as well as growing rejection of it in this newly independent and rapidly modernizing society, especially by young women who wish to continue their education.

Although bride kidnapping has been illegal in Kyrgyzstan since 1994, it is a law that is rarely enforced, and one in three rural ethnic Kyrgyz women have been forced into such marriages. BRIDE KIDNAPPING is a remarkably illuminating look at what will seem to most Westerners, apart from the most committed cultural relativists, as a shocking social custom but one that, at the same time, raises provocative questions about the nature of love and marriage.


Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Dreamwork Basics

Dreamwork Basics
These dreamwork basics include tips on remembering your dreams and a special method for interpreting them.

The Stuff that Dreams Are Made by John Anster Fitzgerald, circa 1858


In order to work with our dream self we must first and foremost remember our dreams. Often we may wake up in the morning believing that we have not had any dreams. But it is more likely that we have not yet remembered the dreams we did indeed have. Think of the many times you have gotten up and dressed and gone off to work or school and then, out of the blue, recalled a dream experience. Such recall comes suddenly and for no apparent reason. This is one way our dreams come back to us.

Don't feel discouraged if you do not remember your dreams on awakening. Dream recall can come at any time during your day, and you can do many things to encourage better dream recall. We've put together a list of our favorite ten.


Most people need at least six to eight hours of uninterrupted sleep in order to experience the highest level of dream recall. We need to go through the ninety-minute sleep/dream cycle several times before we become rested enough to have a conscious memory of our dreams.

With some exceptions, most people who only get four or five hours of sleep each night short-circuit their natural dream cycle. Only you know exactly how sleep much you need. You might want to experiment several nights in a row to discover the optimum number of hours you need to obtain the clearest dream recall.


Sleeping with your head pointing true north puts your body and its corresponding chakra system in alignment with the polar magnetism of the earth. Yogi masters, mystics, and psychics have long recommended this position for healthful sleep. We have found that sleeping with our head to the north strengthens our connection to the higher, intuitive self; promotes the health of the body and the central nervous system; enhances restful sleep; and stimulates the highest and most vivid level of dream recall.

A simple compass can assist you in determining true north in your bedroom. Sleeping with your head to the other three compass directions will also affect your sleep experiences. For example, sleeping with your head to the south grounds you to the earth. This helps to reduce the occurrence of nightmares and invasive dreams. However, the downside of the south position is that it tends to dampen dream recall.


We have discovered that what we pay attention to most often grows stronger and bears fruit. And so it is with dreams. Giving conscious attention to dreams will allow you to receive important messages of healing and wisdom that the hidden parts of you (subconscious, emotional, higher, and soul selves) are trying to bring to your attention every night.

It is especially helpful to use a simple, strongly worded affirmation of intention before you fall asleep at night. Try something like, "I will remember my dreams in the morning." Repeat this affirmation, or one similar to it, several times as you fall asleep.


Acknowledge how serious you are about your dream worlds by keeping your dream journal or a tape recorder close to your bedside. Then make an inner commitment to use these tools each night. It also helps to have a small flashlight handy when recording your dreams; oftentimes turning on a bright light will drive your dream memories away. A bright light may also awaken you so much that you will find it difficult to fall back to sleep.


An obvious but sometimes overlooked aid to remembering your dreams is to simply set aside an extra fifteen minutes in the morning for remembering and recording your dreams. Set the alarm fifteen minutes earlier than usual or train yourself to wake earlier so that you don't have to jump out of bed in a rush to get ready for work or school.


Another key to remembering your dreams is to keep your eyes closed when you first awaken to reduce the amount of external stimuli that normally floods your brain in the morning. It also provides a blank screen upon which your dream symbols, memories, and images can form. Finally, it promotes a state of relaxation that is beneficial when trying to access dream memories.

Keys #7 and 8. Relax and Be Still and

Re-Create Your Dream in Reverse Sequence

Remember to keep your body as still as possible as you wake up. Wiggling, stretching, or sitting up can drive the memory of your dreams away just as quickly as a bright light can. Sometimes you may remember only one image or scene upon awakening. Don't worry! If you relax and lay still, you can often trace this one image backward and reconstruct your dream, frame by frame, from the last scene to the middle scenes and, eventually, to the beginning.


Get into a daily habit of journaling your feelings, daydreams, and fantasies. You might be thinking: I don't have time for this! And it's true, many of us lead extremely busy lives and simply do not have a lot of extra time. But this type of journaling does not require a lot of extra time. Don't feel as if you need to record every event or thought of the day.

Simply jot down a paragraph or two (usually in the evening just before bed), describing any feelings, fantasies, or interesting thoughts you experienced that day. Even just a few words or key phrases will help trigger your memory of an idea or feeling you may want to explore later on. You will be rewarded with deep insights into your patterns and life processes when you connect your journal information to the issues being brought up in your dreams.

Dreams are internal manifestations of our thoughts, hopes, fears, and conflicts. They provide us with a stage upon which to examine our issues from the various viewpoints of our self-segments, and, most important, they often offer us creative solutions to dilemmas -- solutions that have eluded our conscious mind.


Create a morning dream ritual. Make it as simple or as complex as you choose. For example, Linda's mother created a morning dream ritual for her family simply by encouraging everyone to talk about his or her dreams during breakfast. Even if you live alone and have no built-in dream partners, you can still create meaningful rituals. One way is to bring your dreams to work and share them with an interested co-worker. You could also call or email a friend. The feedback we get from interested dream partners can provide valuable insights into our relationships and our inner psyches.

Although all the keys we have discussed are simple, they do require you to change. During your efforts to use these keys, don't become discouraged if you find it difficult to change your old habits to make time for the new activities outlined in the keys. Replacing old habits with new energy patterns is not easy. In order to be successful in changing your habits and installing a new pattern, your desire to work with your dream-self must be strong. The good news is that once you do establish a new pattern, it will become easier and easier for that pattern to take hold. Eventually it will become automatic, and you will gain all the benefit without great effort.