"Neuroticism" is an emotional instability considered by psychologists to be a maladaptive type of behavior that lead to dysfunctional and non-productive ways of living. Individuals who score high in "neuroticism" are often emotionally reactive, are more likely to perceive commonplace events as threatening, get sick frequently, interpret minor challenges as utterly difficult, are often in a bad mood, and tend to lack rewarding interpersonal relationships.
The difficulties that "neurotic" people experience in managing their emotions frequently reduce their ability to make rational decisions and successfully deal with pressure and stress. Also, when they allow their issues to persist for long periods of time, their problems tend to get even worse.
Personal issues may arise out of numerous causes, but perhaps the only problem why people don't cope too well is that they don't realize they are being "neurotic". Sometimes the only thing one needs to do in order to find ways to solve one's problem is to become aware about one's own behavior and "beliefs".
Albert Ellis, an American psychologist who in 1955 developed Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), identified a number of "irrational beliefs" that people often hold on to and which cause and sustain their "neurotic" disorders.
According to Ellis, even if your experiences are relatively valid and have caused you real suffering, it is your "irrational beliefs" that generate enduring problems. The best solution is to disprove your "irrational beliefs" in order to regain your sense of worth and get the chance to recreate your own life.
Ellis often mentions twelve examples of false and irrational beliefs:
* It is a dire necessity for adults to be loved by significant others for almost everything they do.
* Certain acts are awful or wicked, and that people who perform such acts should be severely damned.
* It is horrible when things are not the way we like them to be.
* Human misery is invariably externally caused and is forced on us by outside people and events.
* If something is or may be dangerous or fearsome, we should be terribly upset and endlessly obsess about it.
* It is easier to avoid than to face life difficulties and self-responsibilities.
* We absolutely need something other or stronger or greater than ourselves on which to rely.
* We should be thoroughly competent, intelligent, and achieving in all possible respects.
* Because something once strongly affected our life, it should indefinitely affect it.
* We must have certain and perfect control over things.
* Human happiness can be achieved by inertia and inaction.
* We have virtually no control over our emotions and that we cannot help feeling disturbed about things.
Try contemplating on the above mentioned beliefs and determine if you are harboring any one of them. When you do find out that you are holding on to one or more of these beliefs, then perhaps you are suffering from neurosis. Ask yourself if you have any reason for holding on to such beliefs. Make a list of all the negative things these beliefs are causing you and all the positive things that might happen if you let go of them, and then use this list to convince yourself in changing your perspective in life.
References
* The Essence of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, by Albert Ellis, Ph.D. Revised, May 1994.
* http://webspace.ship.edu/cgboer/ellis.html
Female sociopaths are more hated than male sociopaths? I stumbled upon this post on LoveFraud from Lianne Leedom, psychiatrist, sociopath victim, and author of "Just Like His Father?" She also infamously threatened her child with going to "the dark place" as a punishment when he had an incredible phobia of the dark. Let her never be accused of being too soft on sociopaths (including her own son), she has plenty of vitriol and anecdotal evidence to spew about female sociopaths:There is something inherently more repulsive and unbelievable about a female sociopath. Women by nature are preprogrammed to learn empathy and care-taking, the antithesis of sociopathic behavior. Indeed, one of the best indicators of sociopathy in a women is seen when the woman fails to care for her own child. It would seem then, that we would all be revolted by a female sociopath, so why do men become victims?My own theory, which has been corroborated by many men who have written to Lovefraud, is that men accidentally fall victim to sociopathic women when they have sex with them. You see, normal men experience bonding just like normal women-especially when the sex is good. The sex with a female sociopath (I'm told) isn't just good, it's better than most mortal men have ever hoped for. Once hooked on the female sociopath, men become victims just as much as the women who become hooked on the male sociopath. Many male victims feel ashamed and emasculated. But, take heart guys, she actually preyed on the more masculine side of your nature, your enjoyment of sex!So there you have it feminists, women who aren't natural care-takers are repulsive and revolting (because women are preprogrammed to learn empathy and care-taking), and it's a little shocking that men fall victim to them (because men are pretty clever, otherwise), but easily explainable because these women are obviously whores. Apparently most women either aren't good at sex or don't like it, so it's easy for sociopathic women to ensnare men with sex. But guys don't take it as a threat to your masculinity that she ultimately denied you ready access to sex because she's just a whore. Did I say whore? She was probably just after your money or something anyway, because that's how whores operate, and she's clearly a whore.Leedom's focus on the female sociopaths is almost entirely on their ability to raise children, please their man, and/or extract money or privileges for sex. If this is not the definition of anti-feminism, I don't know what is.What about other aspects of a female sociopath? My guess is that they can be very successful in their careers. Not only would they have the same potential advantages of male sociopaths (ruthless, fearless, power-hungry and ambitious), but because they don't fully identify with their gender, they might be less influenced by some of the defeating (and self-defeating) "lessons" that young girls are taught about a woman's place in the world. They wouldn't be socialized to want particularly things and not others like a lot of women seem to be. Also they might not readily seem themselves as a victim (as society is so quick to portray women), but rather someone who acts and accepts responsibility for herself, empowered? We really don't know what female sociopaths look like in general because there has been next to no research done on female sociopaths. But it's very disappointing to see bald stereotypes perpetuated such little obvious personal slant and moral prejudice by someone claiming to be a medical professional and expert on sociopaths.
By Krystal Haunt
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