We're moving into Valentine's week. If you're single, you may be feeling the pressure - wishing it would all go away. Today's tip -- Focus on the now. Focus on what's positive in your life. Know that it's just a day.
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When you're dating, or flirting, you need to know what to look for. Today's guest article, "Signs of Interest," gives us some helpful hints.
When flirting, you should be on the lookout for signs of interest. If you see at least four of the following signs in the body language of the person you are with, it is likely that they are interested in you, and you are being given a green light to move things further!
1. LENGTHY EYE CONTACT. Eye contact maintained over a period of four seconds or more is unusual between casual acquaintances or friends, but not amongst lovers; and it can be rather intimidating, but if you are flirting with someone and they know that you could be flirting with them, they are sending you an explicit message with the power of eye contact! This could also come from somebody who hates you, but that is unlikely from a stranger.
2. MIRRORING. If your posture tends to be similar to that of the other person and tend to do what you do at about the same time that you do it, they are either consciously or unconsciously developing a rapport with you. You can test this by subtly changing one aspect of your posture (the position of an arm, for example) and noticing whether this change is reflected in the other person during the next minute.
3. WHERE THE BODY AND FEET ARE POINTING. If you are with someone who is happy to remain with you at the moment, they will generally speaking have turned to face you. If the person wishes they were somewhere else, they will likely have turned away from you, even if they are facing you; look for the legs and feet pointing somewhere else, perhaps even towards a door. Note that this only applies where you are in a one-on-one situation, and doesn't apply between groups of people.
4. LEANING IN TOWARDS YOU. Somebody leaning in towards you is displaying a definite sign of interest, possibly even excitement! This is usually accompanied by open arms and legs. Conversely, somebody leaning away from you, perhaps with their arms and legs crossed, is displaying a lack of interest. If they are leaning in towards you and you do the same, you can be sure that something more is likely to happen, because it is very likely to lead to the next stage!
5. TOUCH. Firstly, if you are close enough to touch easily then that's a good sign. There are several things to look for. Hands resting across a table, on your side of it, that are close enough to touch, typically from a woman, signify interest; she
doesn't want to touch first, but she would like to be touched! Picking off a piece of lint from clothes, whether it exists or not, is another good sign. Touching upper arms when sitting next to each other where it is not especially crowded is often done. Lingering touches send an even stronger flirting signal!
6. RAISING EYEBROWS UPON FIRST MEETING. This is usually over very quickly, lasting about a quarter of a second. As it happens on first meeting, you need to be quick to look for this one! The longer it lasts, the more interest lies beneath, as it can last for up to a second.
7. THEY ARE LOOKING AT YOUR FACE OR BODY OTHER THAN YOUR EYES, ESPECIALLY YOUR MOUTH OR YOUR EROGENOUS ZONES. They are probably imagining what it would be like to kiss that part of you!
About The Author: David Thomas is a web publisher with a wide range of interests, including psychology and dating. He publishes articles like this at http://Flirt-Coach.net which you can view for free, and you can add your own comments, giving further advice and turning it into your web site. It's a great place to learn!
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(image via: here.)NBC reporter Ellie Scarborough was on top of the world in 2009, reporting in a top ten media market and living her dream. Then, a boy broke her heart. After a few months went by and she couldn't figure out why she was still struggling to keep a smile on her face, she looked online for smart resources to inspire her and give her a little boost to get through each day. She couldn't find a thing, so, she decided to create something herself. In July 2010, she launched Pink Kisses, and it's quickly becoming kind of an empire. Today, she's giving LovelyUndergrad readers the scoop on the top 4 things you MUST do when you've just gone through a breakup. Take it from someone who's been there and knows exactly what to do to get over it:
1. KNOW YOU'RE NOT ALONE.When you're going through a breakup, it's like logic flies out the window. Although practically everyone on the planet has had his or her heart broken, when you're down in the trenches, it feels like you're the only one who's ever experienced such excruciating pain. It's like no one could possibly understand the intricacies of the relationship that just ended - the reasons it's just so unfair - the profoundness of your despair. But guess what? Practically "everyone" understands. For validation, just look outside your own little bubble. Go to any given celebrity gossip magazine - one of your favorite stars is probably going through the same thing right now. "Everybody" does. It's part of the human experience, and it can make you stronger if you let it.
2. INSTILL A NO-CONTACT RULE.It's far too easy to fool ourselves into thinking we can be friends with the ex. The friendship underneath all the other stuff is what made it so great, right? Wrong. If the two of you just wanted to be friends, you probably would've just been friends from the start and stayed that way. Over time in a relationship, chemistry grows. Bonding chemicals are literally released into your system when you're getting physical with someone, and your body needs time to detox when the relationship ends. Don't keep pressing the bruise. De-friend him, unfollow him, delete him from your phone, and make a promise to yourself not to have any contact with him outside of situations you absolutely cannot avoid. If you have a class with him, well, that sucks, but you don't have to sit next to him, and that class will eventually end. If you have mutual friends, there's no better time than the present to expand your circle. No excuses. You can't start feeling better when you're staring at his Facebook wall - much less his actual face - all the time.
3. HELP YOUR FRIENDS SAVE YOU FROM YOURSELF.Okay, okay. We know the no-contact rule is easier said than done. That's where your friends come in. At pinkkisses.com, we offer a daily email service called "the betty plan," which sends you a specific action step each day to keep you moving forward and establishing healthy patterns to help you get over him and be happy again. One of the first steps we prescribe is delegating two friends to text, call, IM or email when you feel like texting, calling, IMing or emailing him. Tell them in advance you're going to be leaning on them for support. Tell them that, simply by being there, they're helping to keep you from getting in your own way. It takes time to break old habits, and when you were texting him a dozen times a day and now you're not, you need somewhere else to direct that energy. Your friends are your friends for a reason. They get you. They want to help you feel better. So let them.
4. CHOOSE TO "OWN"YOUR LIFE. It's been said that "living well is the best revenge," and we couldn't agree more. Accepting that "it's actually over" is often the toughest part of a breakup, and once you start wrapping your head around that, it becomes clear that what you do next is totally up to you. Do you want to be the sad, desperate girl who can't stop calling him and begging him to come back to you, or do you want to be the fierce, independent, totally-in-control girl who bounced back so brilliantly that everyone around her kind of sat up and went, "Huh. Look at "that"? We already know the answer, and so do you. And we're not talking about rebounding with a new boy, either. We're talking about chasing your dreams, taking care of yourself and completely harnessing the fact that life is short and you have to do with it exactly what you please. Although you might have setbacks, they're temporary. Although you may miss him, someday you won't. Carry yourself with class and keep your eye on the prize: taking back your happiness instead of just handing it over to someone else. Don't give that stuff away for free... it's "yours".
" Thank you, Pink Kisses, for these inspiring tips! "
"Ladies, if you or a friend is working on getting over a breakup... PINK KISSES IS OFFERING LOVELY UNDERGRAD READERS A SPECIAL DISCOUNT. Purchase the Pink Kisses 30-day Betty Plan and you'll get half off! (A 14 product for only 7!) JUST ENTER LOVELY AT THE CHECKOUT. (You have 'til September 18 to use the code.) Essentially, the Betty Plan sends an email each day around lunchtime with a little action step to take to get over the ex. "
