Help

Author : Debbie ReedsI was invited to Kuala Lumpur (KL) last week to take part in a coaching event for International Womens Day. Back in my hotel room I switched on the TV to find a star I didnt recognise talking about her recovery from addiction. She was asked by a caller how she found the willpower and she said it wasnt about willpower, it was about admitting you cant do this alone, you need help. Later in the interview she said she checked in to the clinic alone. She said she needed to take 100% responsibility for admitting herself to the program.I was still figuring out admitting you cant do this alone v. taking 100% responsibility for yourself whenI decided to do the Colonial Area walking tour described in the Lonely Planet guide. The starting point was the main train station (below) which looked near to my China Town hotel. Getting there proved to be a different matter!My guidebook said pedestrian walkways were scarce in KL, here cars run the show. In Hong Kong signed walkways are everywhere but more often than not sponsored by some shopping centre or office complex. In Bangkok it seems to be a free for all, cars, bikes and pedestrians squeeze through using any means possible! Anyway following my map I took the bridge designed for cars across the river and railway and walked along the slip way. My path narrowed and then completely disappeared leaving me to dodge the oncoming traffic. I arrived at the start of my official walk somewhat shaken but was then able to follow the instructions in the book to see the main sites.My next tourist venture was to the Islamic Arts Museum and I was dismayed to find it was in the same area. I thought Id avoid the problems of the previous trip by catching a Light Railway Train (LRT) one stop across the river and railway. Looking at the LRT map I saw the two stations were actually joined. I asked at the information desk and a covered walkway was pointed out leading all the way to the main Train Station!On my own in a strange town, I didnt stand much chance of getting anywhere! Although the Guide book improved my chances, it also set up a limiting belief that there was a scarcity of walkways. I proved this true when following the map and nearly got run over in the process! It was only when I asked for guidance that all became clear and I found an easy way.So I admitted I couldnt find the way on my own but where does asking taking responsibility come in? Actually on my second crossing I asked for directions three times- in the hotel and at the bus station before I arrived at the LRT. I asked the hotel receptionist a rather vague question and she didnt look really confident and at the bus station I felt my advisor was trying to sell me a bus ticket! It was my responsibility to decide whose advice to trust. I had to give honest and complete information, ask the right questions and then use my intuition to select my advisor. My progress and my decision remained my responsibility.This is the same with issues we face in our lives. When what were doing isnt working, willpower may not be the answer. If we listen to others experiences we may be led to believe that the solutions are limited and we just have to live with our problems. When we decide to seek guidance in the form of Life Coaching we do not hand over responsibility, far from it!In Life Coaching is the coachees responsibility to give full information and set the agenda and their decision what to implement following a session. One of my coaches Judi Talesnick is very strict about using the word help. Giving help is based on the assumption that the person youre helping is helpless and with coaching that definitely isnt the case! You can retain responsibility with out having all the answers and be a Coachee without giving up control. In this way it is a true partnership.Keyword : ask,travel,coach,life,responsibility,control,asia,support,advice,advise,willpower,guide,help,partner