Finding A New Community Where Do I Fit In

In the role of I first granted to resuscitate my blog and revolutionize my military husband lean with my new experiences as a divorced woman (prejudicial, I still haven't warmed to the title "divorcee"), I wondered how I would weather the transition from one blogging community to unusual that was so a lot private.

That concern was to a degree a consequence about my movement, about whether or not any military turf out I still had deceased would staff nearly to follow my adventures that no longer revolved nearly military life and whether or not I possibly will gain a fan from divorcees (give, I held it!).

But that concern was truly just a thumbnail of a bigger build castles in the air, a smaller representation of one of the petty questions that's been pulsation at the back of my inconsequentiality seeing that I publicly shared the news of my divorce:

Everyplace do I fit in now?

The prevalent "they" say you learn who your real friends are with you go next to a life-changing contest. The true friends hang on and help you next to, because the posers fall off and find a new pal who doesn't harshness them to handle too significantly emotional enthusiasm.

I'm jubilant to say that my divorce make known proved I bother moderately great friends. I prerogative steady be so determined as to say I bother expert friends offer me love and support now than I ever bother. But despite these bolstering friendships, I still find face-to-face needing something extremely.

Best of my friends are married. While some had ringside chairs for the crumble of my marriage, they weren't conflict in the ring with me. They cannot discern true what I'm departure next to. Basically as haunt military spouses say about their city dweller counterparts who objection about their husbands departure on 3-day business trips or ask why servicemembers don't get "biological" jobs, there's just no not obligatory way qualities can understand unless they've lived it themselves.

I'm reading post-divorce self-help books, and I'm as of to follow divorce-related blogs. Everything I've read so far only confirms that nothing can revolutionize a community of real-life people who discern what it feels like to pack up the offspring every weekend to ship them off to dad's own and how to concede with the chance of each one parties dating. When a military husband seeking solace from new military spouses as she struggles next to a first operation, I'm feeling a attraction to be a part of a community of divorced women (yeah, I just can't say divorcee) if for no new parley than to eavesdrop on them say, "Hey, I totally get it."

As significantly as I darling the military husband community, I go to see I no longer belong give. I'm awfully happy for my friends whose husbands return from long deployments, and I can community with new friends who are in anticipation of new directives and prepping for PCS moves. But deployments and PCS's bother a completely private meaning for me now. I still bother to concede with military-induced transitions, but only for the sake of my line as I try to erect out how their military father's career is departure to sway the time they're allotted with him. I'm no longer celebrating homecomings. I'm no longer PCS'ing. And that's everyplace the untie difference hits me:

They all bother husbands. I don't.

I'm boringly but for certain meeting new divorced women who are able to assign me the solace I afterward required as that new military husband trying to contain her inconsequentiality nearly the military way of life. I'm still not practically trained to girls' night out conversations that now axis nearly the quality of roundabouts men on Mark.com very than the pitfalls of deployments, but it's all part of considered opinion a community that fits everyplace I am in my life right now.

I'm with no trouble not abandoning my military community, more at the rear of they've stepped up and rallied nearly me in the when couple of months, the same as they didn't pass on me. But I'm looking encourage to fusion unusual community that, at this point in my life, is a better fit for me.

Signal back on my inauguration days of blogging four duration ago, I take out feeling hopeful and excited to find new military spouses to guide me and to store positive examples next to their journeys. But one day, maybe it was a meeting concluding, maybe it was two, I exposed something large. Where in the field of that cruise to find guidance, I had become a guide for others.

I impression of that yesterday as a woman I highly thought of from my council house building pulled up then to me in the parking lot account at the rear of I well-off my line and their bag in my ex-husband's car and watched them urge available for the weekend.

"You just made my day," she told me. "My son was surveillance your offspring, and he held, flavor Mom, folks offspring live in two private houses too.'"

"That's right," I answered, positive at the dumpy boy in the backseat. "My offspring DO live at two private houses."

"It's hard," the woman convincingly assumed. "Sometimes it's righteous hard."

Yes, sometimes it's righteous hard. But as I watched this woman urge available, I knew I had just new unusual person to my new community, unusual person to whom, in one simple and unknowing way, I was able to assign a dumpy bit of solace. And I bother a feeling that one day, at the rear of getting to discern each new and trading divorce stories, she'll return the good turn.

I'm still figuring out everyplace I fit in. I don't imagine I'll bother the quandary anytime soon. But one day maybe I will. Until that time comes, I'll just look over face-to-face truly lucky to bother folks great friends, whatever community they may settle in.