The Extraterrestrial Extramarital Defense English Politician Announces Affair With Green Alien Cat Queen

Simon Parkes appears to be pressing the flesh with all the wrong people. The city council member and married father of three from Whitby Town Council has gone public with an account of a long affair with aliens, particularly an alien named the "Cat Queen" with whom he has had a child. He also claims that his "real mother" is a 9-foot green alien with eight fingers. The Labor politician has also reported the less surprising news that his wife is rather put out by the whole thing. He did raise a novel extraterrestrial defense to extramarital affairs. Parkes, 58, insists that he has had interactions with aliens since his childhood and described how he had liaisons with the Cat Queen four times a year: "What will happen is that we will hold hands and I will say 'I'm ready' and then the technology I don't understand will take us up to a craft orbiting the Earth." Now here is what prompted me to post this particularly story: Parkes' defense against adultery. Parkes stated that his wife found out about the Cat Lady "and was very unhappy, clearly." However, he noted that while "that caused a few problems, but it is not on a human level, so I don't see it as wrong." So, the marital vows really extended to terrestrial woman and not alien honeys like the Cat Lady. Brilliant. When you think about it, this cannot be adultery which is defined as the "voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a "person" who is not his or her spouse." Since the Cat Queen is not a person, by definition this is not just another adulterer politician. This defense does not appear to have entirely appeased his wife who learned that he had a child called Zarka with the Cat Queen. By the way, when Parkes is not representing people, he is a driving instructor. That must make for interesting conversation when nervous driver applicants innocently ask, "well, did you do anything interesting this weekend Mr. Parkes?" Source: Metro