Thursday, May 16, 2013

Building Rapport With Nlp

Building Rapport With Nlp
As a system of logical analysis on thoughts and languages, NLP is a scientific tool that makes use of our cognitive interpretations and turns these thoughts into positive behavior.

NLP Training courses have outlined different approaches to obtaining specific goals, using the method of logic and linguistics. Therefore, providing an avenue for personal development, career improvements, and management and marketing strategies development, these courses prove to be popular to people hoping to control life paths and conquering road blocks.

These techniques taught in the NLP training courses are founded upon the principles of rapport. Rapport is easily defined as the ability to maintain harmonious relationships through effective communication, mutual acceptance and conscious recognition of both parties.

NLP gears to help us relate with others and that fosters the feelings of trust, respect and quiet camaraderie. Creating a good relationship between two parties allows effective communication. Likewise, effective communication allows an established and good relationship.

During business transactions, businessmen would discuss in detail the different terms and conditions of business dealings. They would allot hours on planning and execution but would base their final decision on the quality of client-management relationship on top of the over-all management skills of the other party, as we are most likely to close deals with people we are comfortable with.

NLP recognizes the importance of rapport and has outlined the different techniques in improving established relationships and forging better ones. Through NLP, we are taught to focus on the positive points of the relationship, focusing on the similarities rather than differences and zoning on the areas of improvement.

Creating accord or rapport between parties requires the technique of Pacing or Matching. This non-verbal approach to establish rapport makes use of body posture, body and hand movements, voice volume and even eye contact.

By subtly matching body languages and voice patterns, the other party at the end of the communication line will develop an interest on the other person or party.

Pacing is the term to describe the kind of matching that NLP techniques teach. It is the matching of non-verbal behavior, establishing eye contact and creating an atmosphere of introduction and trust.

This is best described, and apparently most useful, in parent-child relationships. As children often require a level of communication that they must understand, parents should learn that speaking in a pace that their kids could catch up with can establish a secure relationship for both parties.

I used to travel a lot with my cousin and her young family and I witnessed how her then two year old daughter would throw fits and tantrums when she wants and demands something. My cousin would start screaming back to get her point across and all would end up in spanking and crying and a lousy day for everyone.

So when I had my own child, I resolved to never go down this road. I am a firm believer that spanking or shouting at a child will not make things any better and will forfeit the idea of getting my point across. And so, I started stretching my patience and made it a habit to always explain things to my daughter in a way she could understand by pacing my words and adjusting voice levels to calm.

One time, we were at a toy store and she saw this walking and talking doll that cost almost a fortune. Of course she wanted it. She and her cousin both wanted it. When her cousin started her old ways of throwing fits, my daughter looked at me and looked at her cousin in disbelief. She came up to me and asked quietly if we could buy the doll.

As I launched on my usual lines of why we couldn't and shouldn't, I also asked her reasons of wanting the doll so much. She asked me questions too and we both struck a compromise. And that was when I knew I could reason with my little one.

We both walked out of the store triumphant, equally smiling and with my purse intact.

The power of effective communication works better than any other parenting technique. So building a solid rapport with your child, or another party, will surely help in improving relationship quality.

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