Violence Against Women What Makes Man An Abuser

There's an old saying '... character is doing what's right when nobody else is looking.' In other words, someone with a healthy personality behaves well in public and in private. Many abusive men are good in social situations - acting as perfect partners in public. That's how they get women to fall in love with them. Their bullying side comes out when nobody else is looking. For a lot of women it's important to understand why some men want to hurt them. Mr. Wrong will act out in seven different ways, but the underlying cause is the same. There is clear evidence to show that it's all about his early upbringing - a chilling fact that all women should be aware of. So what marks out an emotionally abusive man from a normal guy? A man who dishes out verbal, emotional and psychological violence can't be normal. Can he? A lot of people think he must be suffering from a personality disorder. Well, many of the abuse stories I've heard conjure up an image of a man who is quite normal on the surface. He'll hold down a job, go out with friends and pay the bills. He's often charming and popular. But when the door closes and it's just him and you - that's when he shows his dark side. Many women report that living with an abusive man is like living with two separate people. The one she fell in love with and the one who calls her vile names, destroys her confidence and breaks down her character. And this leads a lot of people to assume that abusive men have narcissistic personality disorder or some other mental illness. Perhaps a few of them have. However, the explanation is usually simpler than that and more shocking. There's plenty of evidence to show that the roots of his personality are twisted by bad male role models in early life. An inadequate, unintelligent or vengeful father figure will teach his son that men are superior to women. This might be overt - if the father doesn't try to cover up his dislike of women. It's common knowledge that if a son is brought up in an atmosphere of domestic violence, he's more likely to be violent in his own relationships. Or it might be more subtle - teaching the young boy to discount women in general and think of himself and his life as more important. There are seven main characteristic personality types when it comes to abusive men: An entitled, hedonistic man is like a spoiled childA superior man wants a sidekick who never disagrees with himA competitive man likes to break you down piece by pieceA control freak wants total control over you - mind, body and soulA fake 'New Man' sucks you dry with his insatiable emotional needsA seducer wants sex with as many women as possible - and a stable 'monogamous' relationship with youAnd a macho man refuses to control his aggressive impulses - verbally, emotionally or physically. Whatever his personality type, an emotionally abusive man is usually not mentally ill. He might want you to believe that his cruelty is all your fault. Or he might persuade you that he's suffered at the hands of other women, authority figures or society. He might have addiction issues. But remember, none of these are an excuse for abuse. He's not a narcissist. He just has a really low opinion of women. So, how do you spot a man like that? One way is to be very aware of how he behaves when it's just the two of you. When no one else is looking - is he disrespectful? Does he say or do things he wouldn't want his friends to know about? Or does he make sexist jokes you're supposed to laugh at? Only you can answer this. If you'd like to find out more on this subject, including a free series of articles about how you can recover from emotionally abusive relationships, go to http://www.wolfinyourbed.com/. View Article Source