When a man or woman ruthlessly tries to network to make gains for their own cause - the outcome can be detrimental. It may initially open a few doors and you may feel you have made progress but ultimately the door will be slammed in your face. It would be nave to suggest that we should not seek openings and opportunities in order to progress our lives, both emotionally and financially but if you consciously leave these thoughts on the back burner and focus your thoughts on what you could "unconditionally" do for someone without seeking "pay back" your efforts will be repaid ten fold in every area of your life which will create a Karma and contentment beyond words. If you try too hard and push too hard for purely business gains or emotional satisfaction you WILL fail every time. Give of yourself FIRST - do not seek rewards and they will come naturally.
CHANGING YOUR MINDSET
When you earnestly seek to make a person happy without looking for a reward they will reciprocate to your needs.
As I was standing next to the stunning 1.5 Million Pagani Zonda F Roadster I saw a gentleman I thought would be nice to talk with. I approached him with a demeanour that was both helpful and caring and he automatically responded in a positive way and told me how he works for the car maker Bentley. The conversation continued and it was clear to see that we were both enjoying the conversation.
If you push for what you believe you can get from someone the results will be negative. However much money we each have the one thing we have in common is "we all want to feel happy and content". You cannot buy this - it is not a commodity that you can automatically own. It is a feeling - and good feelings are brought about by people. People can make people happy or sad and it is your choice. If you instil this into your inner being and begin to enjoy speaking with people for being with people whether in business or socially, the rewards will come. You will ultimately find that you have secured that special contract or secured a certain telephone number from the opposite sex and all this would have been achieved without any effort - You purely attempted to enjoy their company by making them feel good and let nature take its course.
If you believe when speaking with individuals that everybody is "after something" this is a negative thought and absolutely no help to you. It may be true at some level and with certain individuals, but believing this in everyone is maybe not the best approach. Two wrongs do not make a right - so when speaking with people try to adopt an attitude of "trying to make them feel good" rather than looking for what you can get back.
DO NOT have a hidden agenda when speaking with people. Give them value by making them feel good FIRST. This can sound sanctimonious and staged managed but believe me this is not about "getting back" but this will, without a doubt materialise as a by product of your actions and this will enrich your life on an everyday basis. Stresses will subside as opportunities open up and you will inevitably become a happier and richer person in more ways than one.
We are now in talks with Bentley so BMG Connections can improve the communication skills of its sales and back office staff. This is great news for BMG but more importantly I want you to be aware that this was not my primary agenda.
It's the same when approaching an attractive women. Many men have told me how they want to pick up women with the focus being how to get her number. This is a mistake. When we focus on the person rather than the outcome, outcome takes care of itself. With the several politicians we have worked with to come across 'less political' - the same rules apply. Nearly all the money in the world is spent on buying a 'feeling' - to feel better than we did before. When you can make others feel good without them having to pay they will reciprocate in any way they can, whether that be business contracts, new contacts, a date with the opposite sex or a relationship.
THE SEVEN DAY CHALLENGE
Try to effectively make others feel good every day for the next seven days whilst genuinely expecting nothing in return. This is not as easy as it sounds as most of us have been programmed to expect something in return. You WILL get better at it - at first there will be that little voice at the back of your head thinking, if I am kind and caring what will I get back, but this thought will actually negate all progress. KEEP TRYING and after a few days it will be automatic and you will begin to enjoy this new found attitude towards people. If you make it a way of life - which it will become if you constantly work at it, you will find your life will be so much easier and less stressful. The good vibes will connect with whoever you are speaking with and the rewards will be enormous and heart warming.
Get back to us in Seven Days with your thoughts.
When you are ready to make the decision in demanding a higher standard of excellence for yourself - join us in taking your everyday communication skills beyond what most would consider possible. Attend our taster Events and programmes where our BMG Trainers not only train and guide through conversational techniques, principles and strategies but ALSO DEMONSTRATE IN REAL LIVE INTERACTIONS which is truly amazing to watch.
Enjoy people, create powerful relationships and love life.
Adam Cumberland
Chief Executive
BMG Connections Limited
Credit: dating-coach-anita.blogspot.com
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