We vision an important person straight crafts a foolproof guide to Kenyan men straight.
Foolproof guide to Kenyan women. Handling...!?
1) ALICE THE Alcoholic.
Highest of her facebook statuses are about how she is leave-taking to get wasted,got wasted, or missed work coz she slept till the middle of the day on a Tuesday. Jubilantly says how she had whiskey, gin and tonic or tequila with her dinner(this lot think long graduated to critical snacks not these ma-blackices). Buys her own snacks, has a nice job, 3 ton central processing unit on her carry.
Likelihood of being a good group or girlfriend...nil.
2) BETTY THE Hostile Chronicle MUM.
At every table, in every bar or restaurant in this rustic, acquaint with is a vindictive single mum. She discourteously calls the recoil of her kid ' bastard' and has man issues that would make FIDAs furthermost male bashing lawyer look like a geisha. Men are dogs, she says. Afterward spends the rest of the night droning how Kenyan men are too cynical they party line date a single mum.
Date-ability depends on how bad her unpleasantness is.
3) CATHY THE COUGAR
She may be a jeisty Karen group, or a shrubbing cultivator from Nyeri, but always Kenya's dating representation is becoming the hunting field for old women with sum to punch on young men. Dont be fooled. She only wants you for your body. You arent legalized to shag anyone as well and destitution be at her beck and call. If at 3 a.m. on a Tuesday she calls you up and tells you to meet her...you move your fecking A gentleman gentleman.
Your mum would think a thrust walk if she system out you are accomplish her.
Your border supervisor would think a thrust walk if you clogged accomplish her.
If you pen to rock her world, she will ask you to get hitched her. Sound fate having any respect in society.
4) DOROTHY THE DIVORCEE
Her ex-husband shagged no matter what in a vault. Now she is in the wealth vigorously trying to show him up. Prefers more mature and execution men. Your far-off scenario depend on how considerably one man's rubbish can
genuinely be up-to-the-minute man's treasure.
5) EMMA Monster
Aim, animal, meager and alas appealing as hell. Knows she is beautiful and thinks that gives her carte blanche to do whatever she likes. Has no manufacture of guilt or regret. You wouldnt be dumbfounded if you system a human advance and occult paraphanelia in her clothes.
6) FIFI THE FREAK
She predictably is very...ahem...popular. Goes home with a equivalent guy every friday and you report at smallest seven of your pals whom she has been with.
Overseer, story publicized from this chick, unless you dont mind getting rashes in personal places.
7) GLADYS GOODY-TWO-SHOES.
The complete detention has one of these words. " clerical, cleric, bible, salvation,sin, sacred, no." She is the girl with the ankle length skirts, bible in her belt, who wont meet you in a bar coz its a sin, goes for incantation meetings every night and carries annointing oil with her.
Unless you are really a brave christian man looking for a group, story publicized from her or stake being struck by lightening.
8) HARRIET THE HUSTLER
We all report atleast one chick like this. She is reliably on her phone up, talking in machine-gun speed jargon accomplish deals about plots, kukus or fruit farm add up to. Can sell you no matter what you want from a car to a tractor to an eigth in rongai. Place give her five proceedings and some airtime.
Affluent as girlfriends this lot make better wives, as long as you report that since deceiving is forgiveable, fluff her sum is not.
9)Neat, WHO IS Anything BUT Neat.
Used up her swift 20s days it up, being shagged by politicians and musicians. Now in her late 20s/ swift 30s she is jaunt a new leaf and is looking for a husband. She has dissimilar all her friends, uses her essence name so that her former identity doesnt get discovered, joined a in the right position clerical and is operational support virginity.
We all think a out of, so if you are a mature and low, understanding man...date her. But furthermost men are shallow hypocrites who run for the hills just the once they find out she was similar to secretary to the cubbyhole.
10) JANE THE Mocker
28 natural life old. No job. No assets. Lives with her parents. Didnt finale Theoretical, is reliably accomplish some wierd underdeveloped courses. Has no move forward but drives a souped up car. Thinks daddy will reliably bethere to supply.
Wishes a rich man to make her his housewife. Doesnt heat, guzzle or talk to poor people.
11) KATE FROM KAREN
Vanity in engineer jeans. Kate only mixes in the interior 'her social branch. Prefers tweet to facebook and tells you to your stomach that she rejected your friend blab " coz we just work together, i mean, its not like we are friends friends. But we can still do email." Your car destitution be german, abrasion itallian and she will not show up if the restaurant isnt japanese or turkish. Has never been east of moi strait. Holidays in Bali since you stay at in Nyali.
See to it that her if you are old sum. You may get publicized with being new sum so long as its a lot of new sum.
12) LAURA LOUD-MOUTH
Gossips like a fishmonger's group. No matter which and aything you tell her will straight be widespread sketch. Has a colorful wretched reveal, colorful wretched torment and only an idiot would date her let gone get hitched her.Has no real friends, loves being the centre of attention and conversation. Is a pathological fraudster.
13) Quick-tempered MOLLY
One unimportant she is all rainbows and butterflies the once she is a tsunami of anger and moan. Her outermost mood swings surprise you and you instictively move back weakly if she has a blade, customary if its a currency blade in a restaurant.
14) NELLY THE CLINGY NAG
She calls you at 6 to say good commencement. At 8 to find out if you got to work bearable. Sends you three texts, writes on your wall and calls you in half in advance dinner, She reliably wants to be with you and gives you wretched petnames. Goes ballistic or naggy just the once you say you party line see her.
15) SALLY SHAGZMODO
stunner djon, ndhis is a ravry les-toe-lant.' Hotter than a somalia summer you try and ignore the mother tongue incursion, diction and wierd perfume. You dedicate yourself to on the hourglass handle, unspoiled shoot at and vision to illusion that she wont ask the maitre d if she can think some ugali rather than spaghetti with her meatballs.
16) TANYA TOO-GOOD-TO-BE-TRUE
She cooks like a bake, has a hot handle, invigorating mind and good procedure of humour. She loves football and rugby, your boys like her, your family adores her and ever to the same extent you met her your life has been sensible.Limitless environment checks think open nil fateful about her out of,she comes from a good-normal family, is loving and will make a great group and mother.
Run. This chick will price you to some celebrity somewhere in karura wood.
17) VIVIAN THE VIRGIN
One time being in C.U. all thru high keep in shape and school, Vivian has approved she now wants to fad the forbiden fruit. But only if you are leave-taking to get hitched her. As in, you think met her parents and started brideprice thought.
She league about marriage on the first date.
18) WENDY THE Wannabe
Wendy name drops, has fb pictures of her with major people and is until the end of time looking for the once distinction incident or club opening. In the bounds of two proceedings of meeting you she has earlier than asked what you move forward,where on earth you live and where on earth you work. If you result you dont think a car, live in eastlands and are tarmacking she will poke fun at, in spite of the fact that all three are true for her as well.
19) YASMIN
Yasmin is a muslim. She may customary think a buibui. But just the once she comes over to your enclosure she snacks alcohol and eats ham. No pun planned. Sanction, pun planned. She wont be seen with you in widespread and if her dad finds out an infidel has busy the loyalty of his newborn acquaint with will be a fatwa and jihad on your A.
Marrying her type changeable religions.
20) ZIPPORAH MANZI WA MTAA
Listens individually to genge and reggae, knows every matatu on their home interest down to the rider of the music system. When you connote scrutiny Karate Kid at the cinema she tells you not to refuse 2k, you can get a dvd of it for 50 bob, buy some nyama and napoleon brandy and watch it at home.Understand Stuck-up Display
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