The Myth Of Indicators Of Interest

Image courtesy of Dave Edmonds

PUAS AND IOIS

Quick post today on a subject that always seems to come up on our live coaching courses.

A lot of the guys we work with ask us about "indicators of interest" (IOIs as the PUA guys call them). They want to know if they should be on the lookout for signs that the girl is interested.

Typical IOI lists end up sounding like the kind of "clues" you read about in Cosmo:

* She laughs at your jokes
* She smiles
* She stands near you
* She asks you your name
* She compliments you

THE LSA TAKE ON IOIS

Today I'll give you my take on these IOIs.

It probably won't do you any harm to look for indicators of interest, but I happen to believe they're a bit of a red herring. Some girls will like you but be too shy to show it. Some girls won't like you but will give you "IOIs" because they are just used to doing so.

I'd say there are really only two IOIs to concern yourself with. One is an indicator of social interest, one is an indicator of romantic interest.

1. INDICATOR OF SOCIAL INTEREST

Be on the look out for a sign that the girl is enjoying the conversation and feels comfortable with you socially). The easiest way to spot this is to listen carefully if she asks you questions.

Most polite people will generally keep talking to you even if they're bored or uncomfortable. So the fact that she's standing there answering your questions doesn't usually mean much. But people who are bored or uncomfortable won't ask questions themselves.

The girl asking questions is a pretty strong signal that she wants to keep the conversation going. It's not foolproof, but it's a good sign that you at least haven't made a terrible impression. At this stage it's worth keeping an eye out for IOI 2.

2. INDICATOR OF ROMANTIC INTEREST

It's one thing that a girl feels socially comfortable with you. It's quite another for her to be attracted to you.

There's a lot of rubbish written about how to spot this, with everything from looking where her feet are pointing to watching her eyes for "NLP eye-accessing clues". In my experience, this stuff will only get you confused.

Instead, just be aware of one thing: has she touched you? Girls will sometimes be happy to stand and talk to guys they don't fancy all evening. But they don't usually touch you unless they are interested on some level.

Again, this isn't a hard and fast rule. Some girls will be totally smitten with you, but just too shy to initiate any contact. And some girls and just mega flirty and touch by nature. But it's a usually a very powerful signal that you can step up the flirting.

Reference: dominant-male.blogspot.com