I love the Olympics! I watch sports that I would never watch any other time (rowing for example!), and I love the inspirational stories of the athletes that come from the Olympics! But these great games always bring up a timeless debate-- men vs. women athletes. There are plenty of women who are amazing, and outstanding athletes. Mia Hamm, Michelle Quan, Serena Williams, and Gabby Douglas are only a few of the best women athletes in history.
Last year in English class, I was part of a heated discussion about women's athletics. One group said that women were "not" as good as men, one group said women "WERE" as good as men, and one group didn't care. As a female athlete myself I was in defense of women. I explained that women were better and could take down any man if they wanted, and they should. A friend of mine (she is a FANTASTIC soccer player) brought up an excellent point that changed by perspective. She said, that her coach would often say IF WOMEN THINK THAT THEY SHOULD BE PLAYING WITH THE BOYS, ISN'T THAT SAYING THAT OTHER WOMEN ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH COMPETITION?
WOW! I had never thought about that! I had to sit and really think about those words. After looking back and reflecting on my initial thoughts, I realized something. I realized that thought that to PROVE that I was a great athlete I had to beat a guy. WHY WASN'T BEATING A GIRL GOOD ENOUGH? How many times have your heard the worst insult ever, "You play like a girl!" Just look at this clip!
It was never a good thing to "play like a girl." Girls played with dolls, and boys played baseball, so telling someone they played like a girl was the WORST insult imaginable. Did you see their REACTION when he said that? PLAYING LIKE A GIRL WAS WORSE THEN BEING CALLED A JERK, BUTT SNIFFER, SCAB EATER, PUSS LICKER, AND FART SMELLER.
When I was little I was a tomboy. I could throw a football, and a baseball. (WAIT! Right there! TomBOY! Why was I thought of and called a tomboy, not just thought of as a girl who played and enjoyed sports?) I saw gym class as a way to lead my team to victory during capture the flag. I often reminded my favorite male gym teacher to say "he OR she" when saying things like, "When he or she goes into defense..." and I couldn't stand anyone who didn't want to play as tough as I did. To prove my athleticism I played with the boys. I was a great basketball player "BECAUSE" I could keep up, and beat the boys at recess. The key word was PROVE. If I had to prove my athletic abilities with boys; that meant girls weren't good enough for me to play against. It wasn't about what I could do, it was about who I could beat. I know that it wasn't a conscious thought process or done on purpose, but to me it's a really interesting thing to think about and reflect on. The issue here is that as women, we need to hold ourselves to a high standard of athleticism, and ignore gender. TALENT IS TALENT, PRACTICE IS PRACTICE, AND WINS ARE WINS.
BUT I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT DO YOU THINK? DO YOU HAVE ANY EXPERIENCES OR STORIES TO SHARE?
Love,G4G and Tinamarie
Source: pickup-techniques.blogspot.com
Author : Kenneth Rice
The 7 Faces of LeadershipMost people can manage when things go well, but true leadership is how we cope with people when times are tough. Our expectations are often unrealistic and not centered on what leadership is really about. Too often people confuse a strong-willed personality as an effective leader. Leadership is not being strong-willed, rather having a strong sense of purpose and compassion. Too many organizations substitute strong-willed people for ethical leaders and see no distinction, because the people who put them in power dont know the difference. Effective Leadership involves equipping people to live competently and confidently.Effective leadership traits are as varied and numerous, not to mention subtle, as the human mind and heart themselves. No list will ever be complete, nor will it be the best suited for each individual reader. The bible gives some insight of the essential characteristics of effective leadership in I Corinthians, Ephesians, and 2 Timothy such as humility, integrity, focus, courage, discipline, compassion, and encouragement. The following paragraphs will place those characteristics into an organizational context.The Humble Leader"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." (Ephesians 4:2)Humility is not just about our relationship with God but its also about our relationship with other people. Relationships are built on listening, to Gods Word and to each other. The relationship between a leader and follower is only as good as their ability to listen. The effective leader will not be a force of just personality and power plays but relationship oriented, centered on building and mentoring.From and organizational context humble leaders invite feedback and turn lessons into failures. "The leader that is poor in spirit recognizes that many people know more than he or she does and, as such, shows respect to everyone." (Winston 2002) Humility is acceptance of our human limitations coupled with the resolve to do something about it -- I cant do it alone so I will enlist the help of others. This is the essence of leadership.The Honest Leader"Each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body." (Ephesians 4:25)Honesty is achieved through Discretion and truthfulness. Discretion keeps our minds and focus on sound judgment, giving serious attention and thought to what is going on. It will carefully choose our words, attitudes, and actions to be right for any given situation, thus avoiding words and actions that could result in adverse consequences. Truthfulness means being straight with others and doing what is right."Its after we have contemplated our own actions, measuring how they align with our values, intentions, and words, that we are most likely to make a contribution of integrity to the world." (Sherman, 2003) Discretion and truthfulness allow leaders to earn trust by being accurate with facts and situations. This doesnt simply mean honesty, or acting in accordance with a consistent set of values. This also means integrity in the sense of soundness, completeness, and unity. Aligning our personality with our values and not compromising ourselves is the spirit of leadership.The Focused LeaderLeaders must be willing to carefully explore their values and how they can move their organization in the direction of a vision that is unwavering. Effective Leaders lead with a purpose rather than "run like a man running aimlessly" (1 Corinthians 9:26-27). From the biblical sense this means that we live for His purpose, not ours. As Christians, we recognize that our need for Christ will bring us beyond our failures so we can grow increasingly effective for our Lord. As we grow in Christ, we will become aware of our futility and inadequacy as human beings.From an organizational perspective, "leaders need to continually put the vision and mission (related to the purpose) in front of followers." (Winston, 2002) Followers must understand the organizations vision and know their role in support of the mission. They must know their purpose and how it contributes to organizational success, this is the soul of leadership.The Courageous & Disciplined Leader"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline" (2 Timothy 1:7)The goal of the servant leader must be to do Gods will. Otherwise we will be too afraid to go beyond our comfort zones to do anything of significance. When we are dependent on the Holy Spirit; then our self-confidence becomes rooted and dependent in Christ working through us. So we are not self-driven but Christ driven; resulting in our will to be in total surrender to Gods will as the driving force for our existence. When were aware that we are not responsible for the results of our leadership, but only the obedience to His call, only then can we persevere to press on to serve Him without the fear of failure.Malphurs (2003) refers to courage as "the strength to lead in these difficult circumstances, meaning that courageous leaders are strong and unlikely to quit." This kind of courage displays itself in an organization when a leader is willing to admit his mistake, when she is willing to stand up for her beliefs, or when he must challenge others.Courageous leaders routinely get extraordinary results from their followers because they arent afraid to do whats right. This is evident in Pauls letter regarding discipline in 1 Corinthians 8:13, "if what I eat causes my brother to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause him to fall." Conveying who you are, your goals and what you stand for can have a significant impact on follower performance and attitudes. Controlled discipline, according to Winston (2002), "draws people closer to you, whereas uncontrolled discipline drives them away." Leaders and followers are two sides of a single coin and the actions of one impact the other. Courage and discipline are the armor of leadership.The Compassionate LeaderThe compassionate leader is rooted and grounded in the spiritual disciplines of faith. "Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devils schemes". (Ephesians 6:11). With the power of the Holy Spirit and the conviction of faith in Christ, when we are modeling His image with love, we become a strong building with the foundation of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit who gives the realization to be our best for Gods glory."Loyalty and devotion to task and grow out of trust and the knowledge of protection that comes from the employment relationship." (Winston, 2002) Compassionate leadership is acting in the interest of your followers, your peers, and your organization. This is the boss for whom the employees are willing to work their hardest. The employees can feel her support for them and are compelled to give their full support in return. This manager brings out the best in her subordinates by her own example. There is often a line of people waiting to join this department. This is the heart of leadership.The Encouraging Leader"Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit--just as you were called to one hope when you were called". (Ephesians 4:3-4)The effective leader will not be a force of just personality and power plays. Servant Leaders cannot be power seeking controllers of others lives, when it is the Lord who is in control. Effective leaders must be relationship oriented, centered on building and mentoring others.In an organizational framework, an encouraging leader is a motivator. "Leadership is being able to both motivate and administrate." (Miller, 1995) A leaders ability to motivate revolves around his or her ability to leverage power and influence within the organization, among peers, and over followers. Influence involves moving people to change their thinking and ultimately their behavior. Power is the ability to exert control over another person, thing, or event. "Power and influence are intertwined in the leadership process. Most often leaders use both depending on the situation and the people involved." (Malphurs, 2003) Leaders will sometimes use power to influence followers. Power itself is amoral. However, the use power (abuse or neglect) determines how leaders influence others. The proper use of that power is encouragement, which is the igniter of leadership.The Call to Servant LeadershipIn Matthew 5 Jesus makes us aware of what God expects from not just Christian leaders, but from all Christians. Effective leaders are expected to lead by example. If our actions cause our followers to fail because they followed our example as in 1 Corinthians 8:13 then we should avoid such things because "those who indulge will become more and more ungodly". (2 Timothy 2:15) Everything that we do as leaders is under scrutiny by our followers. In the Beatitudes, Jesus gives very specific characteristics: humility, compassion, gentleness, righteousness, mercy, honesty, and perseverance.In organizations, just as in the Christian community, there are times when leaders fall away from these characteristics through personal loss or personal sin. Building and developing these characteristics is not something we just learn from a book or hear from a sermon. It does not sneak up on us in the middle of the night. It does not come automatically, accidentally, or suddenly. It is a process that comes from living in it. It is a slow process. Many fail to realize they have it until others point it out. Effective leadership is not permanent once it is formed. It requires our continual appreciation and practice.ReferencesFields, Bea (2005). The Ten Pillars of Leadership and Business Development. Retrieved electronically.
http://www.art-of-leadership.com/index.htmlHoly Bible (1985). King James Version Study Bible. Zondervan, Grand Rapids MichiganMalphurs, Aubrey (2003) Being Leaders: The Nature of Authentic Christian Leadership. Baker Books. Grand Rapids, Michigan.Miller, Calvin (1995). The Empowered Leader: 10 Keys to Servant Leadership. Broadman & Holman Publishers. Nashville, Tennessee.Sherman, Stratford (2003). Rethinking Integrity. Leader to Leader, No. 28Winston, Bruce (2002). Be a Leader for Gods Sake. Regent University, School of Leadership Studies. Virginia Beach, Virginia.ABOUT THE AUTHORLieutenant Kenneth Rice is an Active Duty Naval Officer stationed in Norfolk VA. Lieutenant Rice is a graduate of Old Dominion University in Norfolk, Virginia where he received a Masters of Science in Educational Leadership and an Education & Training Management Subspecialty. He is currently enrolled in the Naval War College completing the Joint Professional Military Education Phase I and at Regent University working towards a Doctorate in Strategic Leadership.
Keyword : Servan Leadership and Managment
ONCE a monkey has gotten hold of food in its hand, it is close to impossible to get the primate to let it go. And this makes trapping it easy for monkey catchers.
In Malaysia, a villager developed the ingenious "Monkey Trap" by burying a coconut and drilling a narrow hole big enough for a monkey's hand to go through. He would place pieces of fruit, nuts or meat on skewers in the coconut. The odour and smell of the treats attracts monkeys to reach into the narrow opening and grab hold of the treats. As the monkey attempts to extract the treats, it finds that its fistful of food will not fit through the narrow opening.
The monkey will scream in frustration as he continues to hold on to his food and attempts to remove his hand from the coconut. The villager comes over and drops a net over the monkey. Even though the monkey sees the villager approaching, so intent is it on keeping the food that it grips the morsels even tighter and tries even harder to dislodge its fist.
Nothing is keeping that monkey captive except the force of its own attachment. All it has to do to escape is let go of the food. But so strong is the force of greed that it is a rare monkey which can let go.
Aren't many business leaders just like monkeys? We may laugh at the monkey for its stupidity but every day we see similar foolishness displayed by many business leaders who struggle with letting go. Like monkeys, many leaders fail when they hold on too tightly to something that leads them astray.
We simply can't let go of products, services and practices that worked in the past which contribute little today but require significant amounts of our time and attention. Or we struggle to let go of our ego and pride. And some business leaders simply can't let go of their business and stay on in their roles way past their expiry date.
But the phenomenon is not limited to business leaders. Many people are traumatically bonded and cling on to bad relationships even though they know better. Or we can't let go of a bad habit. Worse still, many hold on to old beliefs and dogma like "if it's not broken, why fix it" and end up missing the boat when changes need to be made. Why is this?
In the case of the monkey, greed is the key reason. Greed and avarice are why executives fail to let go. And greed leads to fear.
Chinese philosopher Zhuangzi wrote: "He who considers wealth a good thing can never bear to give up his income; he who considers eminence a good thing can never bear to give up his fame. He who has a taste for power can never bear to hand over authority to others. Holding tight to these things, such men shiver with fear; should they let them go, they would pine in sorrow."
While greed for food holds the monkey back, what holds us back? Is it our ego, power, pride or greed?
Successful business leaders struggle with letting go of their products and services that worked previously because they fear the unknown. The fear of losing the past outweighs the gain of the future. Thich Nhat Hanh, a famous Buddhist teacher, said: "People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar."
They believe if they keep going the same way, even though it may be painful now, somehow life will return to the excesses of before in the future. Albert Einstein rebuts this belief: "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
Each of us naturally wants to maintain status quo, sticking to the safe and comfortable. According to Edward Miller, dean of John Hopkins medical school, people won't change even if their lives depended on it.
He studied people two years after their coronary artery bypass grafting and found 90% of them had not changed their lifestyle even though they knew they could die. They just could not change their lifestyle for whatever reason.
CEOs are supposedly the prime change agents for their companies but they are often most resistant to change.
When Louis Gerstner took over as CEO of IBM, he started by sticking to the McKinsey routine that had worked for him throughout his career - analysis paralysis and strategy. He thought he could revive the company through drills such as selling assets and cost cutting which were his comfort zones. But he was wrong and to his credit, he changed his consultant approach to a more cultural transformative one, thereby enabling IBM's revival.
But most leaders resist change and are crippled by excuses to retain status quo. If you walk into any business and hear the following excuses, you are in a business where there are a lot of monkeys who just can't let go:
. We've never done it before and it's not possible.
. We/another company/person tried it before and it won't work here. Our company is different.
. We've been doing it this way for the past 50 years.
. Why change - it's working OK. Everything is fine here.
. Management will hate it. This company is not ready for it.
. It needs further investigation and more thought.
. Our competitors are not doing it. Why should we?
. We don't have the money/resources/assets to do this.
. The union will scream. It's too much trouble to change.
. Customers won't buy it. It's too radical a change
*Ego* - Ego is responsible for the majority of business failures. Disney, Wang Laboratories and even General Motors' slide from glory was due to leadership ego. Even celebrity CEOs are not immune to ego issues. Steve Jobs was kicked out of the company he founded because of ego issues.
A personal example while I worked at GE is of the legendary Jack Welch, whose refusal to part with Montgomery Ward, a trouble departmental store that came to GE looking for an infusion of US100mil to reverse the retailer's fortunes. It wasn't enough and the next year it came back and asked for more.
GE, faced with losing its original investment, gave the firm the additional money and then proceeded to give more the next year and the following years. To protect an initial US100mil investment, GE eventually wasted billions. Just like the monkey who couldn't let go, the world's greatest CEO couldn't let go of a black hole and later admitted it was ego that stood in the way.
Nelson Mandela quit as president of South Africa after his first term a legend. Some leaders can't let go of their businesses and stay in the job way past their expiry date, causing the business or country to be ruined in the process.
*Outdated beliefs* - It is hard to identify even one single big business success that was achieved by following conventional wisdom. Yet many still rely on it daily.
A secretary working part-time while studying at a university in the US refused to learn the computer and only used the typewriter. She was typing 300 words a minute and believed if she kept improving her speed, her job was safe. Whilst everything around her told her to embrace the computer, her inner belief said otherwise. A year later, they fired her and replaced her with someone who typed 80 words a minute but could use the computer.
The newspaper industry globally is in decline and many blame the advent of the Internet to this decline. But researchers Michael Moore and Sean Paul Kelley believe that it is greed and the reliance on outdated wisdom that has seen the print media's decline.
Each of us have beliefs and conventional thinking stifling our progress.
Take time and re-examine your beliefs and remove and replace the ones that don't work. Businesses need to do this often too.
In life, there are many things that we have to learn to let go. We have to let go of situations, things, memories, attachment to people and even ourselves. It can be very painful when it's time to let go.
Letting go is similar to crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. Letting go can be one of the scariest experiences in your life but only by boldly taking a leap of faith into the unknown can you truly be the leader you were meant to be.
So, this weekend, why not reflect and learn to "let go" of something that is holding you back from greatness. Remember, every exit is an entry to somewhere else.
Think of it this way: you're on a hiking trip and along the way you keep picking up heavy objects, things that don't really help you get up the hill. After a while, these objects begin to slow you down and unless you get rid of them, you'll never complete your trip. So, let them go.
Finding yourself back in the world of singles can be quite daunting, especially if you have come out of a long term relationship. But once you have let the dust settle and find you are looking for a new man it is time to get back out to bars and clubs with your mate and attract hot guys and find yourself a new Mr. Right.
It can be scary but it is also a lot of fun. Finding the flirt in you can be very refreshing and give you a whole new lease of life. Have some fun and follow these fantastic little tips on ways to attract the right guy. They are simple, fun and will get you the results you are after.
* Choose your friends carefully. Large groups of loud women can be very threatening and off putting when you are trying to attract hot guys. Take out a close couple of friends who are outgoing and can keep themselves amused when you get chatting to men.
* Show a bit of flesh. Men love to see some soft bare skin, but there is no need to throw on a tiny mini skirt and ultra-low cut top. Keep some style and class and remember it is either one or the other. You may be surprised to hear men love to see naked shoulders, so wear an off the shoulder top rather than exposing your cleavage for all to see.
* Get the look. You can attract hot guys from right across the room simply by using your smile and your eyes. Smiling works better than the pouty sultry look. A smile is recognized as friendly and is appealing. Keep eye contact with anyone who you are attracted to. A little raise of the eyebrows can encourage a man to approach you as it is a sign of recognition.
* Positive conversation works best. Once you have managed to attract a guy it now comes down to conversation. Keep the smile theory, and remember to be friendly. This is not the time to bitch and moan about your life. Ask easy to answer questions on favorite bands, drinks, places that kind of thing. Remember you are both on a night out; it is time for fun and to relax.
Remember to have fun while you attract hot guys, you might not be on the single scene for long, so make the most of it !
Source: pua-celebrities.blogspot.com
Harlequin, one of the world's leading publishers of books for women, will play a central role in an upcoming episode of "The Bachelor," ABC's tremendously popular romance reality series. The episode will feature a special "group date" where the women pose for a Harlequin cover with the newest Bachelor, Sean Lowe. The contestant that shows the most spontaneity, flair and chemistry with Sean will be awarded a three-book cover-model opportunity with Harlequin. The episode is scheduled to air Monday, January 14, 2013, on ABC.
Sean and the competitors will experience what is required to be a successful Harlequin cover model. Harlequin Creative Director Margie Miller will shepherd the group through hair, makeup and wardrobe stages and then have them pose for multiple cover scenarios in a Los Angeles mansion. Each contestant will have an opportunity to impress Ms. Miller and Harlequin Brand Representative, Michelle Renaud, with their ability to pose in a polished and unaffected manner and convey a genuine connection with Sean.
This season on "The Bachelor," Sean, 29, the successful Dallas businessman and entrepreneur who charmed fans while wooing Bachelorette Emily Maynard, meets 26 potential soul mates and gets another shot at love as the Bachelor. Sean was blindsided in the Caribbean island of Curacao when Emily rejected him, and viewers saw the devastated Sean wrestling to make sense of her decision. Thankfully, Sean did not give up on his dream of love and he now knows with certainty that the time is right for him to risk it all again to try to find the right woman.
"What makes "The Bachelor" so compelling--searching for true love and ending up with your soul mate--is what our novels are all about. This is a real Harlequin story come to life," said Ms. Renaud. "And "The Bachelor" and Harlequin are a great fit, because people know both always have a happy ending."
The 17th season of "The Bachelor," from Warner Horizon Television, airs Mondays 8:00 p.m./7:00 p.m. central on ABC. For more information on "The Bachelor," visit abc.go.com/shows/the-bachelor.
Jayne
Attached Thumbnails
In recent times single online dating services are most ordinary. Singles from all over the world is flocking into online dating services in search of their partner. People have different requirements and criteria. All want a partner who can be completely live in harmony and happy with each other.
There are single men seeking for single women, gays seeking for another gay, lesbians seeking their partner, elderly men seeking love in internet, divorcees to find a online dating partner and build up their life again, and single parents who search for another single parent to understand and support each other-the list goes on.
The best part of the online dating service is they have solution for all of them! Nobody needs to be disappointed in finding that special one. There are endless choices in front of them. Only thing they need to do is use it properly.
If your search is for another single parent to date online, you can register with the respective dating websites to chat and date. Being a single parent is tough and searching for someone comes as natural for them.
For them a single online dating service is the best to find the right dating personals. When you consider for a date, you definitely think about a person who loves you and your children.
Now it become really easy for single parents to find a person either a single parent themselves or any other singles. For growing up children it is most important to have a partner. You can solve that problem now easily with an online dating web site.Finding a dating personals and having date with them.
When you first decide about searching a partner, probably you need to talk to your children. You are not sure how there reaction would be. They may or may not understand your wishes. However, we should understand that they are too young and do not know the toughness of the world. Proper discussions and patient approach can help you in making them understanding the situation. They gradually will cope with your interests.
When you sign up with an online dating service websites, do not forget the importance of honesty and opens. They are the best ways to reach your goals. You should let the other person know all about your life, especially when you have failed a relationship. You have to discuss a lot of things with your prospective partner including your children.
Also it is important to find the right web site. You can find a huge number of such online dating services. Finding the right one can be a little difficult without a thorough investigation on the websites.
If you are completely ignorant about the dating websites you can take advice from people who know about such websites. Even you can take help from reviews about the websites. After spending a considerable amount of time on such sites you will come to know which is popular and reliable.
Source: articleforfree.com/
